Rating: 2.5 stars
Thank you to St. Martin's Press and NetGalley for this ARC. My opinions are my own. This book will be out on May 19th.
Josephine "JoJo" Burton runs away from her own wedding, after her childhood best friend, Cooper Watts, shows up unexpectedly from London just as she's about to walk down the aisle, and makes her realise that she really doesn't want to be with her fiancee. The next morning, he's on a plane back to London. JoJo has never been lucky in love. She always chooses the wrong guy, and she always ends up being the dumper.
Six weeks later, JoJo's sister, Ashley, is getting married on a Caribbean cruise. Her sister's rather vague grasp of pop psychology has made both Ashley and JoJo believe JoJo's terrible relationship is because she's felt abandoned by their father (he works almost non-stop and never seems to be around for anything important) and due to a strange series of events, JoJo must never have found a lasting love because she fixated on her first kiss, and no man has lived up to her expectations since. It just so happens that the man who kissed JoJo when she was ten and he was thirteen is newly divorced and going to be on the cruise as well.
So Ashley orchestrates a truly mental plan where she is going to throw JoJo and her childhood crush together in a ton of matchmaking events, and once JoJo manages to make this man see that she is now a catch, he will fall for her, and all of JoJo's romantic failures will be solved. Along for the ride is poor Connor, who is roped into being JoJo's rather unwilling wingman. He doesn't seem all that enthused about helping JoJo fall in love with another man, but JoJo doesn't really see that her perfect mate might not be this elusive first crush, but rather the BFF she was inseparable from for most of her life.
This is the second book by Katherine Center that I've read where I'm seriously wondering if all the people praising her are taking crazy pills. I'm starting to think that The Rom-Commers, which I read in 2024, was some sort of fever dream, and I just imagined it was really enjoyable. While this wasn't as bad as The Love Haters (one of my worst reads of last year, which I have now downgraded to 2 stars), it was also mostly a slog to read. I hate romances where I keep wanting one of the protagonists to just run away and escape the other one, and this was very much the case here.
What I liked (it's not a terribly long list):
- Cooper is really an amazing guy, pretty much in every way. Except for his dreadful taste in love interests. He's not just in another league from JoJo (still hate that nickname), he's pretty much in his own universe from her. I can't even find the words to describe how much too good for her he is. He should have stayed in London, doing cool things and finding someone worth his time and efforts.
- While being stuck on a cruise ship for a wedding sounds like an utter nightmare to me, it was an interesting way of doing forced proximity.
- The fact that JoJo's daddy issues pretty much stemmed from a massive misunderstanding, and that she realised he was a really good guy and helped him get back together with her mum. Very nice twist to have the deadbeat dad actually be a secretly really good guy, who was just terrible at advocating for himself, or apparently communicating in ANY way with his family (getting annoyed at the author again now). As it turns out, the one who should have been having daddy issues is Cooper, but saying more would be spoiling.
- JoJo's family mostly seemed really nice, even though Ashley seemed like a pretty awful friend for putting all her single friends through some sort of matchmaking Olympics on board the ship.
What I did NOT like:
- Our female protagonist. She is extremely annoying and clueless to the point where I could no longer suspend my disbelief. I can totally see how someone with an advanced degree in mathematics and a supposed genius-level IQ could be clueless enough about personal matters to be utterly AWFUL at reading people. I can even be persuaded that she seemed to think it was a good idea to marry the dude she is about to marry at the start of the book. But once she is on the boat, going through with her utterly moronic plan of "conquering" her childhood crush, even when it becomes painfully obvious that he's dull, not really interested in her and utterly wrong for her, while a gorgeous, thoughtful, caring, funny, musically talented and all-around great guy is doing everything but literally spelling out his feelings. I wanted to throw my e-reader across the room at how self-centred and oblivious she was.
- JoJo's belief that she was cursed. I repeat, she has an advanced degree in maths, and we are told she has a genius-level IQ, but she would rather believe that she is cursed than the fact that SHE is the common denominator in all of her failed relationships. None of them worked out because you are the WORST, JoJo.
- JoJo's judgment is seriously bafflingly bad. In any given situation, she will pick the absolute worst option to try to solve things, and end up confused and sulky because yet again she's messed her life up more.
- JoJo appears to have no self-respect or free will whatsoever. She stays in a fairly unsatisfying relationship for three years before emotionally blackmailing her so-called perfect boyfriend into proposing. Then she sits around for another four years before finally getting to her wedding, where she has apparently let the groom's family decide absolutely everything, without any input from her, up to and including the ill-fitting wedding dress she has to wear. Then her sister makes some sort of insane plan for how she's going to become "uncursed". JoJo squeezes herself into too-tight outfits to look sexy and tortures herself with monstrously uncomfortable shoes, and never once does JoJo tell her sister to f*ck off with her idiotic suggestions. She appears to have no actual agency or personal wishes; she just lets other people tell her what to do.
- While the page count is 320 pages, because of the pacing and the fact that I deeply disliked the heroine, this book felt interminably long.
When I saw this ARC available for request, I had hoped that The Love Haters was a rare fluke in the bibliography of Ms. Centre. So I asked for this one to give her another chance. Next year, I think I need to tell myself that I have now let myself be fooled twice, and need to try to avoid disappointment by letting it happen a third time. I won't be requesting any more ARCs from this author.
Judging a book by its cover: I don't know who designed this cover, but at least to my eyes, the red, orange and shock pink all clash with each other, and the sort of turquoise blue of the dude's shirt and the lifebuoy ring are not helping. I am not a fan of this; it's giving me a headache. Although it may warn people away from the book, which I'm starting to think might be a good thing. Having browsed Goodreads, I also see that on the UK cover, the woman (who is clearly supposed to be JoJo) is wearing a dark blue dress and flowy scarf, which while not great (there is still that background) would be SO much better.
Crossposted on Cannonball Read.
No comments:
Post a Comment