Audio book length: 25hrs 5mins
Rating: 5 stars
Nowhere Book Bingo 26: Book rec from a friend (Ashley/Narfna loved this)
Defeat the Goblin TBR: The Rogue Book - a book with politics/intrigue/sneakery involved (this book has all three and lots of it)
CBR18 Bingo: Left (All of my fiction books are alphabetised by author, so Abercrombie comes to the very top left of the bookshelf it's placed on)
A cowardly monk. A mercenary. A vampire. A werewolf (who used to be a viking warrior). An elf. A necromancer. A knight who cannot die. An orphaned thief who is apparently a long-lost imperial princess. Add them together into a highly unlikely band of allies and watch them make their way through a war-torn alternate Europe (where the holy saviour was the daughter of God, who died on a wheel), facing all manner of dangers (not least the supposed princess's murderous cousins) to get to Troy. This book is basically a late-medieval Suicide Squad, and it is violent, at times extremely gory, constantly surprising, and wildly entertaining.
In the beginning, I wrote a list of all the major characters, so I could remember their names and something about their characters, so I could tell them all apart. The book follows eight different characters, six of whom get their own points of view. In addition, this book is set in an alternate Europe, where the crusades have been against the murderous elves, who want to kill and eat humanity. Troy still exists and is an ancient empire. The saviour is the daughter of god, and the Pope in Rome is a woman (actually a ten-year-old child). There's also been a religious schism, so in the East, all the major religious leaders are men. Street rat Alex is told by a swanky nobleman that she is, in fact, the long-lost imperial princess of Troy, and has a birthmark and one half of a medallion that seems to prove her identity. The oracles of the church confirm her identity, and The Order of the Holy Expediency (a very unusual group of individuals that the Church uses to get its dirty work done) is tasked with accompanying her through Europe to Troy, to get her coronated.
It is a very long and dangerous journey, and our unlikely band of anti-heroes face so many deadly challenges to make it towards their goal. If Alex (or Princess Alexia) actually makes it to Troy and manages to become Empress, it will be an honest-to-God miracle. Her murderous cousins, who would like the throne for themselves, and a staggering number of implausible monsters stand in her way. Luckily, Alex has monsters of her own to help her achieve her destiny.
While I own several of Joe Abercrombie's books, this is the first of his novels that I've actually read, mainly because grimdark isn't really my favourite genre, and certainly not anything I would choose to read now that we are all living in the stupidest dystopia, and the world is burning. However, my good friend Ashley put this as her third-best book of 2025 (and she reads a LOT more than me), and since she also explains in her video why this was an exception to Abercrombie's other books, I really couldn't help myself when I saw the audiobook on sale last year. Then I saw the hardback at my local library (and decided it was a sign from the universe). I borrowed the book so I could follow along (it has illustrations, pictures of all the major characters), but listened mostly to the audiobook (it makes cycling to and from work so much more enjoyable, and I can also listen while I knit).
I've seen enthusiasm for Steven Pacey as the narrator of the book in a few places online, but personally, it took me a while to warm to some of his narration choices. He does do a good job differentiating between the many different POV characters, and the further I got into the book, the more comfortable I got with his choices.
I don't know exactly what I was expecting from this book, but I certainly hadn't expected it to be as laugh-out-loud funny as it was in places. I found myself reading passages out loud to my husband, mainly to explain why I kept cackling with delight while reading. If I had to pick one favourite character, it's obviously going to be Viga, the werewolf, but I grew to care deeply for every single individual in this misfit crew and was delighted to spend time with them in their strange quest through Europe. I'm now very curious as to where Abercrombie is taking the series next; the sequel has been given a release date in 2027. I have also bought my own paperback copy of the book, and hope to get it signed next year when Abercrombie is one of the guests of honour at Norcon in Oslo (along with Martha Wells, I'm so excited!).
Judging a book by its cover: I didn't actually notice at first that the lower jawbone of the skull on the cover is, in fact, a crown, and not a jawbone at all. I think this cover is funny and creative, and it really catches your eye.
Crossposted on Cannonball Read.
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