CBR18 Book 43: "Prince of Storms" by Kit Rocha

Page count: 400 pages

Rating: 3.5 stars

Thank you to Montlake and NetGalley for this ARC. This book is on sale now.

Naia, Einar and Aleksi return to the ice queen's island to figure out who tried to kidnap them and are soon joined by all the other deities of the High Court of the Sheltered Lands, concerned about them and wondering exactly who is behind this most recent plot. As Naia's powers keep growing and she needs to use them to protect the innocent residents of the island from dangers, it becomes clear that she is, in fact, the ancient goddess of Rahvekya reborn. She can remember an entirely different lifetime, as well as her relationship with the first Kraken.

However, Einar doesn't seem to remember his former life, and Aleksi sees the closeness between the other two and grows concerned about a future where he must let his lovers go, for their own good. Because of dangers from old foes arriving on the island, bent on revenge, Aleksi may not have long to worry about the future of himself or his lovers. The Betrayer wants the power of Rahvekya for himself and to kill Aleksi and now he may have the chance to achieve both. 

I tried to read this so I could finish and review it before the release date, but since NetGalley would only allow me to read the ARC in their own app, which doesn't save your progress, as well as forces me to read on my phone (something I only do in utmost emergencies, if I am stuck without one of my two e-readers or a physical book. It doesn't happen often). So in the end, I waited to start it until after release day, when my pre-ordered digital copy was available to download on my Kindle. Based on how uncomfortable it was to read in the NetGalley app, I may reject any future ARCs that are only available to read in that format. 

I read for pleasure, and for escapism, and I don't like when books feel like homework. Unfortunately, since I really do try to read all the ARCs I am granted and leave honest reviews for them, I had to get through this, but it took me far longer than it should have for a book this length. While I pretty much devoured books in the Bound to Fire and Steel duology in no time at all, this felt like a slog for the first two thirds of the book, and I for a lot of it, I was pretty much reading it out of obligation, not because I was particularly enjoying it.

The action does pick up in the last third, because that's when it basically becomes one very long action sequence, with SOO many different battles and near death-experiences for our heroes. Before that, the plot is very slow, and can't seem to move away from Aleksi worrying that the other two are better off without him, while they keep trying to reassure him that no, they aren't and they don't want him to nobly slink off somewhere to nurse his heartbreak for centuries. There's also the whole Naia and Einar are the reincarnated versions of Rahveyka's goddess and her lover, the god of Storms. I found it very hard to care about any of it. Things did get cooler when both Naia and Einar were fully able to embrace their new powers and truly kick the asses of their supernatural enemies. But with the first two thirds of the book being so boring, I cannot in good conscience rate this higher than 3.5 stars. 

Under the circumstances, though, considering the dystopian hellscape the authors who make up Kit Rocha live under, and the strides they've made to fundraise for democracy and help Americans offer resistance, it's laudable that they were able to finish this novel at all. 

Crossposted on Cannonball Read. 

CBR17 Book 18: "Tress of the Emerald Sea" by Brandon Sanderson

Page count: 479 pages

Audio book length: 12 hrs 27 mins

Rating: 4.5 stars

Buzzword Cover Challenge 25: Celestial (there is a big moon and several stars on the cover)

What if in The Princess Bride, Buttercup didn't sit at home and mourn for Westley when he was captured by pirates, but instead went off to try to rescue him? Of course, that would mean Buttercup had any agency at all in either the novel or the film, and she really doesn't. But if Buttercup was a young woman named Tress, from a barren and fairly desolate island, who washes windows at the duke's mansion and collects cups, with the only thing making her life worthwhile being her friendship with the duke's son (who pretends to be a gardener), and one day, Charlie, her best friend (who she's only recently discovered that she's also in love with) is taken away by his father to be married off (a poor window washer girl is not a suitable match for him)? Charlie promises to be so dreadfully boring to every suitable bride he meets that no one will want to marry him, and every time is rejected by another bride, he will write to her and send her another cup from his travels. 

However, after some months, the letters stop coming. Then the duke returns, but Charlie isn't with him. Charlie has been kidnapped by the Sorceress, and it doesn't seem like anyone cares except Tress. First, she needs to figure out how to get off the island (no one but the duke's family is ever allowed to leave). On the first ship she travels on, she meets a talking rat, who she takes with her when the ship is attacked by pirates. It's important to note that in this world, while there are ships and long voyages, the oceans are made up of spores that react very violently to the presence of any liquids. Very occasionally, the spore currents still for a time, and it's possible for brave, or exceedingly foolish, individuals to walk along on top of the spores. This is how Tress gets from the attacked ship onto the pirate vessel, where she gradually befriends more of the crew and works her way up in rank, despite the misgivings of the blood-thirsty pirate captain. 

Tress isn't entirely sure how she's going to help the motley crew of pirates from becoming exploited by their captain, and persuade them that they really want to assist her in travelling across the Crimson Sea to the Midnight Sea (the two most dangerous areas on the planet), and face the terrifying Socreress to rescue the boy she loves. But she knows that if she gives up, Charlie has no one coming for him, and that is unacceptable to her.

This is an adventure story with a plucky heroine, who keeps succeeding against all odds, sometimes because she just won't quit.While Tress has had a sheltered and rather uneventful life until she decides to leave the safety of her home to go off and rescue Charlie, she's not stupid, and her determination to get to him makes her face challenges that would make others quake. Occasionally, her lack of experience also makes her less afraid of dangers than she probably should be, since she just doesn't realise what the consequences of the potential threats. She's also kind-hearted and determined to help those who show her kindness along the way, even if it might delay her ultimate goal of getting to the Sorceress.

This is the first of the four secret projects that Brandon Sanderson announced that he wrote when he suddenly had a lot of extra downtime during the Pandemic. While most of us binged TV shows and perfected our sourdough loaves, Sanderson apparently wrote four entire novels, in addition to all the work he was already contracted for. The man is a machine! This led to probably the biggest Kickstarter campaign in history. Sanderson started writing this story for his wife, after wondering what The Princess Bride could have been like if the heroine wasn't just a passive player, having the plot happen to her. 

I didn't have the finances to get all four secret projects in hardback (not only did the books themselves cost quite a lot, but the shipping to Norway was incredibly expensive), so I only got Tress of the Emerald Sea and Yumi and the Nightmare Painter, because these two books were the ones that looked the prettiest and most interesting to me. I did get digital and audio copies of all the other books, though, which allowed me to listen to parts of this in audiobook as well. 

Most of Sanderson's many many novels fit into a larger fictional universe called the Cosmere. That means that a lot of his books are vaguely interconnected. Since this book fits into the Cosmere, but there are more than twenty other works that come before it, I had this grand plan last year, to do a re-read of the Sanderson novels I had read (most of them a very long time ago now) and catch up on all the ones I hadn't read, so I'd be able to properly enjoy the various secret projects, and not be confused by the references. Sadly, this failed almost at the first hurdle, when I had finished the brilliant Mistborn, and then just couldn't get past the opening chapters of The Well of Ascencion, the next book in the series. Then this got selected as the February read in The Dark Corner, my real life book club, and it became clear that I was just going to have to ignore references to events or characters from other Cosmere books. 

One such character is Hoid, who narrates the story of Tress and Charlie to us readers. He has apparently appeared in a bunch of Sanderson's novels (some of which I have read, if the wiki article I read is correct - and I don't see why it wouldn't be) in various different guises. In this book, he's a cabin boy who has been cursed by The Sorceress (who is also a character from the wider Cosmere universe) becaue of a bet. He speaks and behaves nonsensically for much of the story because of this curse. Some of the members in my bookclub found the way the story was told (Hoid frequently breaks the fourth wall and speaks directly to the reader) incredibly annoying. The 2-3 people who didn't like the book cited Hoid's storytelling style and all three felt it wanted to be Pratchett, but didn't succeed. 

Most people, however, really liked the book, and since this was our February choice, we had a very interesting discussion about whether this could be classed as a romance, or whether it was more accurately a love story. The general consensus was that Tress' love for Charlie is completely central to the plot, it's the force that drives her to change her life and leave the island, it's what keeps her going even when things seem almost impossible, and that the book wouldn't work without the love story at its centre. We also agreed that if the book had been sold to us as a great romance, we would probably have been disappointed. 

Personally, I didn't find Hoid all that annoying, and very much like when I was reading To Say Nothing of the Dog by Connie Willis, I decided to just enjoy the story on its own terms, and ignore any references that went over my head. Knowing that this was at least in part inspired by The Princess Bride (one of my favourite films, and books, I had fun seeing the many ways in which the story resembled, or subverted the plot of that story. 

As always, Sanderson's world building and approach to magic systems is fantastic, and even the ones who didn't like the book that much had to admit that the oceans of spores idea was great. If anything, there was quite a bit of grumbling because the book claimed there were twelve different kinds of spores, and we only got to learn about five of them in-story. The characters were interesting, and even the Pirate Captain, who by some could be seen as villainous, had very clear motivations and it was made obvious why she might have chosen to act as she did. Some of the bookclub members highlighted her as one of their favourite characters,

Reading Sanderson again did remind me that his writing has always worked for me, and gave me further motivation to actually continue my "Reading the Cosmere" project this year. I'm not going to try to give myself a set time limit this time, that clearly did NOT work, and he has such a big back catalogue of mostly very long books, but I do want to revisit some of the ones I read in the past, and continue the various series. The people who love Sanderson, love him SO much. I'm trying to focus on quality over quantity in my reading now, and not get freaked out if I don't get to read a set number of books per year, but rather focus on the things I read being enjoyable.

Finally, I wanted to end this review by mentioning how utterly gorgeous my Kickstarter-funded hardback is. It is illustrated throughout, with some beatiful drawings, and, as I discovered as I got further through the book, colour coded to which of the seas Tress finds herself at the time. When she travels the Emerald sea, the chapter headings and page numbers are in a beautiful green, when she travels into the Crimson sea, the colours change to red, and then to inky black when she crosses into the dreaded Midnight sea. Having such a pretty edition of the book makes the exorbitant cost of shipping sting slightly less. 

Judging a book by its cover: My hardback is a lovely, clothbound book with different textures for the patterns of the various elements of the cover. As far as I can tell, most of the editions of this book feature Tress and some varation on a giant moon on the cover, but I think this is one of the prettiest versions. 

Crossposted on Cannonball Read.

CBR16 Book 8: "The Secret Service of Tea and Treason" by India Holton

Page count: 368 pages

Rating: 5 stars

Alice Dearlove works for the secret organisation the Agency of Undercover Note Takers, or A.U.N.T., staffed by spies and agents disguised as ladies' maids, butlers, footmen, and other household staff who mostly go unnoticed by the higher classes, but are usually in a position to see and hear everything. She's one of their top agents, known within A.U.N.T only as Agent A. Usually, Miss Dearlove works alone and gets excellent results while doing so.

Now she faces one of the biggest challenges of her career. Not only does she have to cooperate with someone on her next mission, but her partner is none other than her biggest rival within A.U.N.T., the elusive Agent B, Daniel Bixby. Now Agents A and B have to learn to work together, while also pretending to be married. There's a plot to assassinate the queen, and Alice and Daniel have to pretend to be pirates, happily married, and fool an entire houseparty full of eccentric, murder-happy ladies and their husbands while trying to locate the potential weapon and foil the plot. 

Since they're consummate professionals, both Alice and Daniel are determined to complete the job quickly and efficiently while remaining strictly platonic the whole time. When more public displays of affection aren't necessary to play their parts, of course. Obviously, wanting to be convincing in their assumed roles, they might have to practice the duties of husband and wife in the privacy of their own rooms, as well. It's not like they'd get carried away and fall for one another, just because they are forced to be fake married, sharing a bedroom (with just one bed). After all, A.U.N.T doesn't allow for any affection between agents, and once their mission is done, Alice and Daniel will be going their separate ways, possibly never seeing one another again.

This might not be a 5-star book for all readers, but as the culmination of the Dangerous Damsels trilogy that India Holton started with The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels works on pretty much every level for me. Alice Dearlove and Daniel Bixby, whose acquaintance the reader makes briefly in The League of Gentlewomen Witches get their own novel and a chance at their own HEA, since clearly from their first meeting in the previous novel, they are perfect for one another. 

Both found in orphanages by A.U.N.T and raised under the strict tutelage of the organisation's teachers and trainers to become secret agents for the crown, neither Alice nor Daniel have ever really felt like they fit in among their fellow spies or people in general. It's quite clear from the description of them,  and their reactions to and thoughts about certain things, that they are both neurodivergent, and while this is not something likely to have been acknowledged in Victorian times, be they the real ones or the alternate history one we meet here, it's nevertheless a fact and makes them both excellent at their jobs, but not very good at making personal connections. 

Daniel Bixby worked undercover for several years as the butler of charming pirate captain Alex O'Reilly, gathering intel for A.U.N.T and making sure the pirates never caused too much havoc and destruction. He has great difficulty admitting that he and Alex actually became friends and that he cares for both the now-reformed rogue and the witch the pirate fell in love with. 

Alice Dearlove is the perfect ladies' maid and can serve the most infuriating of spoiled aristocrats, devious pirate matrons, or meddling witches. She hasn't really ever had any friends since the organisation doesn't exactly encourage emotional attachment to anything or anyone. She also gets very defensive by light touches and has no understanding of idioms or metaphorical language. Once Daniel discovers this, he's very helpfully tells her "Idiom" every time someone uses figurative language that baffles her. It was a very cute recurring gag and endeared me further to the man.

In various flashbacks, the reader is given insight into the rather dark upbringing both agents have had, in an organisation that doesn't really care for its employees as people, only pawns to move about on a large political gameboard. It helps that they share a lot of the same experiences, albeit in slightly different ways, but it also makes them both very aware of how difficult a potential happy ending would be for them, as A.U.N.T certainly wouldn't let them marry and be together.

Of course, Alice and Daniel, helped in parts by Ned, Cecilia, Alex, and Charlotte, end up with a very lovely HEA in the end. Alice has actual friends who care about her and they're all part of a bigger found family they have dreamed of for their entire lives. This book was a very quick read and made me very happy. India Holton's writing has gotten sharper and wittier with each book, and I'm very excited to see what she will publish next. 

Judging a book by its cover: Once again, it is an adorable cover and I really love the lavender shade of the background. I especially like the traditional spy movie poses of Bixby and Dearlove, with them in period-appropriate servants' attire instead of evening wear. 

Crossposted on Cannonball Read

CBR16 Book 7: "The League of Gentlewomen Witches" by India Holton

Page count: 336 pages

Rating: 4.5 stars

Everyone knows there's no such thing as witches, but if there were, they probably wouldn't use magic in flashy and extravagant ways to fly houses around and try to rob and assassinate one another. If there were witches, they would probably use their magic in tidier ways, ensuring polite society was functioning properly. Possibly liberate those who have excessive financial resources of some of it to the betterment of those with less of it (like say, themselves). If there were witches, Charlotte Pettifer would be the next prospective leader of their League. There's even a prophecy that she's the natural successor to Black Beryl, the woman who first discovered the magic spell that the pirates use to make their houses fly. 

Charlotte makes the acquaintance of the dashing pirate captain Alex O'Riley when she is, in fact, trying to liberate him of his briefcase. After a very exciting pursuit, she manages to fly away on a bicycle, only to discover that the briefcase is empty. When the legendary amulet of Black Beryl is found and exhibited in a museum, Charlotte and Alex's paths cross once more, since any witch or pirate worth their salt is trying to be the first to get the amulet. When both are thwarted in their goal, Alex to his dismay, discovers that Charlotte has stowed away in his flying cottage, and refuses to leave until they retrieve the amulet together. 

Soon rumours are flying that Charlotte has been abducted by the roguish pirate, when all the witches know full well that Charlotte must have been the one doing the abducting. Neither group of opinionated, magic-wielding women is going to suggest that something untoward has taken place, as a marriage between a prominent witch and a pirate would possibly lead to peace between the two factions, a fate much worse than a young lady (or rakish gentleman) maybe being compromised. All the while, Charlotte and Alex are fighting and kissing and doing a fair bit of acrobatic compromising of each other, beginning to dread what will happen if they actually do manage to find the amulet and have to stop chasing it together. Because the future leader of the witches, and a prominent pirate, couldn't actually have a future together? Perish the thought.

While the first book in the Dangerous Damsels series was full of Brontë references, this one leans heavily into Jane Austen. Charlotte has lived a lonely life, strictly regimented to become the perfect leader of the League, and certainly hasn't been allowed to indulge in anything so frivolous as strong emotions or close friendships. So, like many other lonely people, she has sought solace in books and keeps wondering what Elizabeth Bennet, Eleanor Dashwood, Anne Elliot, or even Fanny Price would do, and early on, at least, she keeps comparing Alex to Austen's heroes (who surprisingly quickly come up short to an actual, living, breathing, fencing, flirting and bantering man). 

While there has long been an animosity between witches and pirates, Alex's reasons for disliking witches are more personal than most. Having lost his mother at an early age, and acquired a wicked stepmother of the witch persuasion instead, he has sworn never to get near any more witches but finds his promise difficult to keep once Charlotte invades his cottage and starts tidying up his abode and life. 

It took me a while to figure out what in the world was going on when I read the first book in the series. I don't know if it had a much more far-fetched storyline (probably not) or that I'm now just much more attuned to the sort of delightful quirkiness that features in India Holton's writing. Maybe I just liked "Lottie" and Alex more as a couple. Austen references are also always going to be more of a hit with me than Brontë ones. 

I already know that the third and final book in the series is about Alex's very efficient butler, Bixby, and the ladies' maid with unusual abilities, Miss Dearlove. I can't wait to see what silly shenanigans the two of them get up to. 

Judging a book by its cover: The covers for these books are adorable. I love the little details in the margins, such as Alex's cottage (which looks rather cozy, and not at all as run-down as a lot of people in the story would have you believe), the teacup, the broom, and so forth. And obviously Alex and Charlotte fencing at the bottom. 

Crossposted on Cannonball Read

CBR15 Books 70-71: "Daughter of the Pirate King" and "Daughter of the Siren Queen" by Tricia Levenseller

Total page count: 672 pages

Daughter of the Pirate King: 3 stars

Daughter of the Siren Queen: 4 stars

Alosa is a famous pirate captain in her own right, leading a crew of almost exclusively women. She also happens to be the only daughter of the Pirate King, who rules the seas with cruelty and intimidation tactics. Her father has one piece of a legendary treasure map, which will reveal the location of untold riches to the one who can locate and unite the missing pieces. Alosa needs to get herself taken prisoner by a rival pirate crew, so she can sneak around the ship at night and try to locate the missing piece for her father. 

Draxen, the pirate captain, and most of his crew are generally dismissive of Alosa, she’s only a woman after all. Only Riden, the captain’s younger brother and first mate, refuses to let his guard down around Alosa. He observes her closely and suspects that she’s hiding things (he’s not wrong), but none of the rest of the crew seem to heed his warnings. 

In Daughter of the Siren Queen, Alosa has succeeded in her mission, and her father, the Pirate King, seems pleased with her for a change. She’s located and united the three pieces of the legendary treasure map, and defeated not only Draxen, the pirate who held her prisoner in the first part of her quest, but Vordan, another rival pirate captain who held Alosa and Riden prisoner and tortured both of them. Riden is fully aware of Alosa’s siren abilities now (I would spoiler warn, but the title of the book is a pretty big clue as to the identity of her maternal parent), which seem to frighten him, yet he seems determined to serve her loyally as part of her crew. The handsome young pirate is proving both a help and a distraction. When Alosa seems in danger of being overwhelmed by her siren powers, merely a word or a touch from Riden can bring her back to herself. 

While unable to lie, because he was enthralled by Alosa’s siren powers, Vordan revealed certain facts about Alosa’s father. Taking Riden and a few trusted crew mates to snoop around the Pirate King’s quarters, she discovers that not only was Vordan right about her father hiding something that gave him an advantage against other pirates, but it’s also a much bigger secret than Alosa ever expected and she won’t be able to lie to herself about her father and his lifelong abuse of her, which according to him was only to make her the strongest and most fierce she could be. Alosa can no longer allow her father to be the first to reach the fabled treasure and sets off to beat him there, even if it might endanger her own life and that of her crew.

Daughter of the Pirate King is Tricia Levenseller’s debut novel, and it reads a bit like it. None of the characters feel that well developed and while there is promising world-building and some good chemistry between Alosa and Riden, Alosa is quite an unpleasant character early on, and clearly still very much conditioned by the harsh upbringing she’s had at her father’s hands. I was surprised at how dark some of the plot went for a YA novel, but it also made the story more entertaining. 

Daughter of the Siren Queen is a much stronger book and where Alosa really comes into her own as a character. After spending a lot of her life either trying to deny or fight not to be overpowered by her half-siren side, she learns to control it while working closely with Riden (because this is a YA novel and the young woman hasn’t really known much love or affection from anyone) it obviously takes her WAY too long to figure out why he’s the only person who seems to keep her connected with her human side. Some of the siren stuff Alosa can do is very cool and that aspect of the world-building I really enjoyed. 

Alosa’s pirate crew isn’t really a major part of the first book, since she spends a lot of time onboard Draxen’s ship, trying to find the piece of the treasure map. Her crew of swashbuckling women, the few men who are also accepted on the ship, not to mention the surprisingly non-annoying child onboard, were all fun characters and I gather that there’s a third book recently published, set in this world, focusing on two of the other crew members. I’m probably not going to rearrange my TBR to read it any time soon but will be open to buying it if I see it in an e-book sale in the future. 

Judging the books by their covers: The new covers for this series are SO much prettier than these (look them up), which are cartoony and rather simplistic and I'm really not excited about them. At least I only own the books in e-book format, so I don't actually see the covers very often. 

Crossposted on Cannonball Read

CBR15 Book 53: "The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels" by India Holton

Page count: 336 pages

Rating: 4 stars

Official book description, because I finished this book two months ago, and the plot is rather convoluted:

Cecilia Bassingwaite is the ideal Victorian lady. She's also a thief. Like the other members of the Wisteria Society crime sorority, she flies around England drinking tea, blackmailing friends, and acquiring treasure by interesting means. Sure, she has a dark and traumatic past and an overbearing aunt, but all things considered, it's a pleasant existence. Until the men show up.

Ned Lightbourne is a sometimes assassin who is smitten with Cecilia from the moment they meet. Unfortunately, that happens to be while he's under direct orders to kill her. His employer, Captain Morvath, who possesses a gothic abbey bristling with cannons and an unbridled hate for the world, intends to rid England of all its presumptuous women, starting with the Wisteria Society. Ned has plans of his own. But both men have made one grave mistake. Never underestimate a woman.

When Morvath imperils the Wisteria Society, Cecilia is forced to team up with her handsome would-be assassin to save the women who raised her--hopefully proving, once and for all, that she's as much of a scoundrel as the rest of them.

This book will certainly not be for everyone. I can see how some people might find it too annoying, quirky, or simply rather uninteresting because they're not looking for something quite this whimsical. Do you like Gail Carriger? Then you might also like this. It's set in an alternate history, where magic exists. It's mainly used to make houses fly, and the secret spell that allows one to pilot the houses is mostly in the hands of women. Thievery and piracy also seem to be perfectly above board, as long as certain rules are followed. Our heroine, Cecilia Bassingtwaite, is a junior member of the female crime organisation, the Wisteria Society, and despairs that the older members refuse to see her as a worthy of promotion to the big table, a full member at last. So when she opens the door to find a rather flustered assassin on her doorstep, this is very promising, because ladies whom someone wants to murder are obviously more scoundrelous, and therefore more worthy of promotion. 

Of course, our hero, Ned Lightbourne, who goes by MANY different names and identities over the course of the story, has no intention of actually murdering Miss Bassingtwaite. He's not really an assassin at all. Nor is he a loyal henchman to her insane father, who has tasked Ned to abduct Cecilia from her aunt's house. Ned wants to do no such thing. Cecilia finds him both intriguing and exasperating, he finds her delightful and is instantly smitten. They keep meeting and bantering, usually while also fighting each other with sharp weapons, and obviously fall in love in the process. 

To begin with, I was honestly not entirely sure what was going on with the plot, or the rather flowery language, but it was amusing me and I just let the story sort of flow over me. The many references to the Brontës, and especially the utterly useless Bramwell, were fun. I'm not entirely sure how this society actually works, but piracy and thievery seem to be the done thing in the upper classes. It also seems to be a very matriarchal society, where the husbands are left to take care of the household, although they're clearly also allowed to run around wielding swords and firearms occasionally, as Ned is doing. Possibly they only need to become homebodies after they marry?

I'm probably overthinking it. This was fun, it made me laugh, and since I've waited several years, the entire trilogy set in this strange alternate Victorian world is already completed. The next one involves witches (and a male pirate), so it also promises to be entertaining.

Judging a book by its cover: This is really cute. I love the flowing vines of wisteria flowers, complete with other elements from the story twisted in. The teacup, the flying house, the sword and pistol, and obviously our adventurous little couple at the bottom, each sporting their own gun. 

Crossposted on Cannonball Read. 

#CBR8 Book 118: "Fortunately, the Milk..." by Neil Gaiman and Chris Riddell

Page count: 160 pages
Rating: 4 stars

While Mum is away on business, it's up to Dad to make sure that his son and daughter have everything they need. Like milk for their cereal. Dad goes to the shops, but is gone for really rather a long time. When he returns, he explains to his children why he was gone for so long. It's a story of adventure, danger, space aliens, time travel, vampires, angry South American gods, pirates and the amazing Professor Steg. The entire thing is beautifully illustrated by Chris Riddell throughout.

I got this book back in spring of 2014, when Neil Gaiman was on a short visit to Oslo to talk about his work with refugees. He also did a very engaging reading from this book, which had just been translated into Norwegian. This was when my friend Ida was still pregnant with her first child (she's currently expecting her second). I mention this because my friend's baby bump was the reason we didn't have to queue for hours to get to meet Mr. Gaiman and get our books signed. As we were about to find our place in the long, long line, a nice lady came over and asked if we wanted to be fast-tracked, so to speak. I got this book, and my copy of The Kindly Ones signed.

Obviously this is a children's book, for slightly older children, who enjoy being read out loud to or who can read the book themselves. There's just enough silliness and adventure to keep a child interested throughout. I read it during the October Read-a-thon and it was a quick and entertaining read, a sort of palate cleanser between longer books. Not exactly as deep or as brilliant as some of Gaiman's other books, but a nice book nonetheless.

Judging a book by its cover: The version I have is illustrated by the brilliant Chris Riddell, who has also done illustrations for the UK versions of Coraline and The Graveyard Book. I really like his art and there is certainly a lot happening on this very colourful cover. I think it's quite obvious that this is a children's book, and a rather eventful one at that. There's Professor Steg and the Floaty-Ball-Person-Carrier. There's the Dad and his precious carton of milk. What you can't see in the picture is that the orange and gold on the cover is actually in metallics, so very shiny and extra psychedelic. It's a great cover.

Crossposted on Cannonball Read.

#CBR5 Book 14. "The Dust of 100 Dogs" by A.S. King

Page count: 336 pages
Rating: 3 stars

In the late 17th Century, successful teenage pirate Emer Morrissey has finally been reunited with her long lost love, and is about to leave the pirate life behind forever with two chests full of incredible treasures, when she is slain on a beach, and cursed with the dust of a hundred dogs. Over the next three hundred years, she lives through the lives of one hundred dogs, before coming back as a human, with all her memories of the one hundred and one lifetimes intact.

Remembering everything from Emer's childhood in Cromwell-ravaged Ireland, through her centuries as different dogs, means that Saffron Adams knows a lot more than normal children. Her Vietnam-vet father and alcoholic mother seems to think that Saffron's brains is going to be their ticket out of mediocrity. Little do they realize that Saffron is just waiting for the day she turns eighteen, when she can escape them, go to Jamaica and dig up her hidden treasure.

The Dust of 100 Dogs is an unusual book, with a different narrative structure. The story switches between Saffron's life in 1970s and 80s America, Emer's life in 17th Century Ireland, France and as a successful pirate in the Caribbean, with little interludes into her many different lives as dogs. To begin with, Saffron may seem a bit surly and unpleasant, but the more the reader gets insight into her home life, the more understandable it is that she hates her life, and can't wait to get away. Her parents keep talking about all the great things her smarts are going to bring to the family, but make absolutely no effort to better themselves or their situation. Things go downhill fast once her younger brother becomes a junkie.

Emer's life is not an easy one. Her village is mostly obliterated by Cromwell's forces on her sixth birthday (some party!) and she is taken in by her violent uncle, who sells her to rich Frenchman when she turns fourteen. Not really wanting to be a fat merchant's plaything, Emer runs away, determined to get back to Ireland and the boy she left behind. She doesn't realise that her love has set off in search of her, but ended up on a ship destined for Barbados. After living on the streets of Paris, Emer board a ship for Tortuga, and various circumstances lead to her becoming a pirate.

I liked the historical parts of the book a lot more than the more contemporary ones, mainly because Saffron's life was pretty boring, and she herself was mostly in a holding pattern waiting to go off and have adventures. Emer/Saffron was a cool protagonist, I appreciate what the author did with the structure, and I really like the cover. Think this one is going in the give away pile, as I doubt I'll want to reread it, though, and I have precious little space on my shelves anymore.

CBR4 Book 80: "The Ugly Duchess" by Eloisa James

Page count: 384 pages
Rating: 4 stars
Date begun: August 30th, 2012
Date finished: August 31st, 2012

James Ryburn, Earl of Islay and heir to the Duke of Ashbrook is disgusted when he discovers that not only has his father squandered most of the family fortune, but he's also embezzled much of the money he was holding in trust for his ward, Miss Theodora Saxby (who happens to be James' best and dearest friend). The duke's solution to the problem is that James must marry Theo, or Daisy as James thinks of her as, before some other fortune hunter proposes to her, or Theo or her mother discovers the money is missing.

Theo is tall and skinny and not what anyone would call conventionally pretty. Yet Theo loves that the two people in the world who don't seem to see her as plain or even ugly are James and her formidable mother. Having grown up with James, she's only barely started considering him in a different light than the purely fraternal, when he first compromises her, and then very publicly proposes, in front of the Prince of Wales himself. The tabloids have a field day when the gorgeous and eligible earl marries "The Ugly Duchess". Despite the very romantic proposal and the glamorous wedding, they're convinced the wedding will last six months tops. As it is, James is granted only a few days of genuinely wedded bliss before Theodora discovers the truth behind her finances and his deception, and kicks him out in disgust, before he has a chance to tell her that he does actually truly love her and explain himself.

Nearly eight years later, James shocks London society to its core by walking into the House of Lords just as they are about to declare him legally dead after his long absence. The young, gentlemanly nobleman who left is now a sunburned, tattooed and fierce-looking privateer. Theo is no longer the ugly duckling, but an elegant swan, sought after for her fashion advice. Can James convince her that he always loved her, and win her back?

In When Beauty Tamed the Beast, the heroine was almost unbelievably stunning and had men falling at her feet because of her looks. Theodora is the exact opposite, young and lanky, with no curves to speak of and harsh, nearly masculine features (I suspect she'd be able to make a killing in today's society as a runway model). Yet James never sees her as anything but lovely, and when he realises just how upsetting it would be if the sarcastic and conceited young man that Theo is infatuated with actually were to propose and take his Daisy away from him, he has no choice but to carry out his father's plan. While he does deceive Theo, he also detests his father's wastrel ways, and is determined to rebuild the family fortunes and any money the Duke embezzled from Theo's inheritance. He even makes sure that Theo is granted equal rights in running the estate (which is ironically why she can turf him without a penny once she discovers what she believes to be the truth behind his proposal).

Theo is a driven young lady, with several brilliant business ideas that turn the Ashbrook estates into something very profitable. Betrayed by the man she trusted the most, she turns away from emotional entanglements and pours herself into the rebuilding of the family fortunes. As she becomes older, she also grows into her features more, and after a season in Paris, she returns triumphantly to London and becomes a trendsetter. As the years go by with no word of James, his cousin and heir, whose become Theo's closest confidant, wants her to declare him dead so she can remarry, rather than so he can become Duke. James has stayed far away from his loved ones exactly because he thought they (especially his beloved Daisy) were better off without him, yet after a near death experience, he realises that he has to win Theo back, no matter what the cost.

I liked the realistic, and rather awkward relationship between the young Theo and James (they're 17 and 19 at the start of the book). I wish Theo hadn't become quite so cold and reserved after the heartbreak she experienced, but can absolutely understand why she needed to build a protective shell around herself - considering the depth of the betrayal she felt, combined with the appalling treatment by the gossip sheets and society after her marriage. James' inability to see her as ugly, as well as his fondness for her even before he developed romantic feelings towards her was also very endearing. Plus, I'm a sucker for a good pirate story. I liked that James didn't hide the fact that pirates (or privateer, the "acceptable" form of pirates) aren't all that nice and kill people (although in this case, only other pirates who refuse to surrender). Of all James' fairy tale retellings in romance form, this has been my favourite.

CBR3 Book 99: "The Windflower" by Sharon and Tom Curtis

Publisher: Fanfare
Page count: 502 pages
Rating: 4 stars
Date begun: November 25th, 2011
Date finished: November 29th, 2011

The Windflower keeps appearing on All About Romance's Top 100 Romances, and is raved about on so many different romance review sites on the internet that I decided enough was enough, and went on Amazon Marketplace to track down a copy (the book was published in 1984, the book I have is from 1994, and the book's been out of print for ages).

I now see why it's so popular. This book has pretty much everything you'd want from an old fashioned romance novel - the heroine grew up with a spinster aunt, lived a terribly sheltered life style, and has barely looked at a man before she's suddenly snogged by a dashing pirate when helping her brother try to identify British spies in some little shack not far from where she grew up.  Some months later, when her English spinster aunt is taking her back to England (although the heroine is American, and terribly patriotic at that), she is abducted by ruffians and ends up on the pirate ship belonging to the half-brother of said dashing pirate who snogged her all those months ago. He thinks she's the mistress of his worst enemy, she thinks he wants to hurt her brother, who is working for the American revolutionaries.

As well as forced abductions, there are surly teenage pirates who turn out to have hearts of gold, an extremely manipulative pirate captain who knows more than anyone else, and clearly uses his pirate ship as some sort of unorthodox finishing school for the odd nobleman's son here and there, a varied band of pirates who while totally apparentl ruthless, within about a week are all willing to die for the heroine's sake.

 Merry, the heroine, veers between being very believably freaked out with the whole kidnapped by pirates thing, especially since her inexperienced little self barely knows how to react to the seductive tendencies of Devin, the pirate captain's mysterious brother, and being borderline TSTL, especially in her attempts to escape. So much badness happening to one young chit, you'd think she'd learn after the second escape attempt, when she's nearly killed from malaria!

In a romance novel written today, the hero would be a lot less douchy to the heroine. He really is very mean to her for most of the book, and keeps threatening to do horrible things to Merry, and seems vaguely puzzled when she's then terrified of him and actually believes he'll carry out his threats. Of course, the main couple would also have been having sex all over the place, while here Devin just tries to unsuccessfully seduce a woman he's pretty sure is an experienced strumpet, yet he can't bring himself to rape her, and Merry really has WAY more will power and resistance than any modern heroine - they always seem to waver a suitable amount of time before being overwhelmed by their desires and falling into bed with the hero. Merry holds out until she's married, even though Devin's proposal rivals that of Mr Darcy (the first one, NOT the second one, which is lovely) and Mr Rochester for total sucky unromanticness (it's a word - I'm an English teacher, I've decided).

A bit slow to start, the book is incredibly entertaining, and worth reading not even mainly for the main couple, who as mentioned before are a sheltered virgin and an imperious douche, but for the supporting characters, who are complex and conflicted and oh so dashing. It doesn't seem as if Tom and Sharon Curtis have written any romances about Devin's pirate captain half brother, Rand Morgan, or about Cat or Raven, two of the angsty, yet amusing teenagers aboard the ship. I'd read those books in a heartbeat.
This is a great book, well worth tracking down, even though it's out of print.