Book 49: "Bridget & Gabe Are Not Okay" by Lex Croucher

Page count: 432 pages

Rating: 4 stars

CBR18 Bingo: And (literally in the title)

Thanks to St. Martin's Press and NetGalley for this ARC. My opinions are my own. This book is on sale now.

I don't know if Croucher intends this to be an ongoing series, but readers should know that this is book two, and this review is probably going to contain some spoilers for book one, Gwen & Art Are Not in Love (which I read earlier this summer, but will not be reviewing because I'm already WAY too far behind on my non-NetGalley reviews. It's getting depressing how much I'm procrastinating on reviews). 

Anyway, on to the actual review. 

Gabriel is doing his best to be a good king after his father was killed in a botched rebellion, but keeps having to hide in cupboards to deal with his panic attacks. Princess Gwendoline (his twin sister) is doing her best to represent the royal family, picking up the slack for her struggling brother. She keeps writing letters to Bridget, the kingdom's only lady knight, who very pointedly is not responding. Bridget is not doing her best, or even well at all. After wielding a replica of Excalibur in battle while defending the royal family from the rebellion, she is no longer jeered, but celebrated at knight's tournaments, but can't seem to find the will to compete anymore. The sound of weapons clashing or the smell of blood makes her feel sick. Arthur, Gwen's former betrothed, has stopped using alcohol as a coping mechanism and is genuinely friends with Gwen now, so that's good. However, he keeps seeing Gabriel, mostly from a distance, and it's obvious that he's struggling, and Arthur can't do anything to comfort or help him. 

The only ones from the first book who aren't having a pretty miserable time of it at the start of the book are Arthur's squire, Sidney and Gwen's ladies' maid, Agnes, who are disgustingly in love with one another and refuse to let their friends' moping get in the way of their happiness. 

The rebellion was successfully squashed, but Gabriel's new and progressive policies are not being very well received by the populace at large. They don't really see why they should take their kids out of the fields to put them into schools; what good is reading anyway? Camelot's fiercely capable PR-woman, Lady Oakley, has decided that recreating the Round Table, with a series of loyal knights who will also travel around the country looking into all the strange occurrences that are being reported, will be just the thing to boost Gabriel's popularity. Gwen, Arthur, Bridget and Sidney, along with a selection of other knights, including Gabriel's cousin, whose father led the rebellion against HIS father and ended with Gabriel very reluctantly becoming king, are also along for the ride. The cousin doesn't seem to share his father's views, but is handsome and charming, and Gabriel doesn't like how friendly he and Arthur are getting. 

One of the reasons I'm choosing not to review Gwen & Art Are Not in Love is that it was fine, but not really all that memorable. It introduces the setting of an alternate history version of our world, with a cast of mostly queer characters (Sidney and Agnes are pretty much the token straights). I never cared all that much for the plot or the characters, but because all that establishing work was done in book one, they had a chance to become more interesting in book two, I guess. 

While going on a rather meandering quest throughout the land, Gabriel, Gwen, Brigdget, Arthur, Sidney and an assorted band of other knights (including another lady knight) investigate strange occurrences that may have ties to the old Arthurian myths, and along the way try to come to terms with grief, anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, jealousy and insecurities. They meet some interesting individuals along the way, and without spoiling too much, all end the book in a much better place than they started it.

Based on this second book, I will read more about The Camelot Disasters if Croucher decides to write more in the series. 

Crossposted on Cannonball Read

CBR18 Book 29: "Dolly All the Time" by Annabel Monaghan

Page count: 368 pages

Rating: 4.5 stars

Thank you to NetGalley and G.P. Putnam's Sons for this ARC. My opinions are my own. This book will be out on May 26th. 

Dolly Brick is a problem solver and has spent most of her life taking care of her family. When her mother left Dolly, her father and her siblings when Dolly was far too young to have to deal with it, she nevertheless ended up basically mothering her younger sister and mentally disabled younger brother. Now she's a 39-year-old single mother (the baby daddy gave her money to "take care of it", she took the money and bought a crib) with a teenage son, Gus. They mostly live in Boston, where Dolly is a kindergarten teacher (she also has two other part-time jobs), but return to her home town of Whitfield, Rhode Island, every few months so Dolly can take care of odds and ends around the house for her dad and brother. After the house catches fire (thankfully not too disastrous) one night, Dolly and Gus have to abandon their other summer plans to return to Whitfield and deal with the damage.

Dolly's father is extremely risk-averse, after spending much of his life paying off the debts of a business expansion that went wrong. He's finally more or less debt-free when the fire department informs them that the roof of the house is very close to falling apart, and the house will have to be condemned if the roof isn't replaced in its entirety. Dolly's already working three jobs (and helping out at her father's fish shop over the summer) - she's not going to find 50 000 dollars just lying around. 

Thankfully, a possible solution presents itself to Dolly after having helped Stewart Whitfield, the eldest son of the wealthy family the town is literally named after. She helps him change a flat tyre (because rich guys never know how to do anything practical), while he confesses his fiancée has been photographed canoodling with a baseball player. A few days later, it turns out Dolly and Stewart were photographed together, and the tabloids are speculating about her being his new love interest. Apparently, Stewart's family and the board of directors of the family company, who are looking to appoint a new CEO when Stewart's father is retiring at the end of the summer, all think that Stewart is a boring workaholic who doesn't have any kind of life outside of the company. He needs to seem like he's a well-rounded individual with some actual non-work interests, and having a girlfriend would help with that. So Stewart is willing to pay Dolly to be his girlfriend for the summer. Dolly can get the money to save her family home and establish a bit of a financial cushion, while Stewart gets to pretend he's not a total failure in the romance department because his fiancée cheated on him. 

While they begin with carefully arranged public dates, Dolly and Stewart are soon spending way more time together than their contract requires. While Stewart had trouble taking time out to spend with his former fiancée, he seems to happily take any chance to hang out with Dolly (and occasionally her entire family). Dolly knows that the relationship isn't real, and that it has an expiration date at the end of the summer, but is also shocked to realise how lovely it is to have someone who seems focused on what SHE wants and does his best to take care of her. She tries so very hard not to fall for Stewart, but may have finally found an impossible challenge.

Last summer, I got an ARC of Annabel Monaghan's It's a Love Story, and since it was perfectly fine (if not all that memorable), I requested an ARC for this when I saw it on NetGalley. It's basically a more realistic take on Pretty Woman, except Dolly Brick is a penniless single mother, rather than a leggy L.A call girl. While the start is a bit slow, it didn't take me long to be utterly charmed by Dolly and her family. The book is both romantic and funny, and a lot of the humour is at the expense of the tremendously wealthy, like the Whitfields (who to be fair, seem mostly very nice for super rich people). 

Dolly has had a hard life, while Stewart's has been one of immense privilege. Despite this, Dolly's mental health is a lot better than Stewart's, and her family are a lot more honest with one another about what troubles them. The exception is Dolly's younger sister, who keeps trying to help out but is often pushed away by Dolly. The sister (whose name I don't remember) correctly feels like Dolly carries resentment for having a lot of her adolescence ruined because she needed to step into their mother's role and still feels like she needs to shelter her sister. Stewart is a perfectionist, with occasionally crippling anxiety, and very few members of his family realise that he, every so often, suffers from panic attacks. Stewart is very aware of his family's legacy, and he desperately wants to do a perfect job and continue that legacy for a new generation. While he has a therapist, he hides his difficulties from his family.

While we encounter both Dolly and Stewart's families over the course of the book, Dolly's family are much more present as supporting characters. Dolly seems to form a genuine friendship with Stewart's sister, though, and towards the end of the book, she also forms a very nice bond with Stewart's mother, who is a paediatrician. 

Sadly, it is still the case with most romances that there has to be a third-act complication, and I was rather unhappy with the way Stewart behaved during this part. Thankfully, he comes to his senses and realises what an utter idiot he has been, eventually, and grovels most satisfactorily. 

This book was a funny, light-hearted, very romantic read. It was almost a five-star read (you know what you did, Stewart!). I'm very happy I asked for this ARC, and will absolutely be reading more of Monaghan's books in the future. 

Judging a book by its cover: The cover manages to be fairly specific (Dolly with her snazzy bob on board Stewart's sailboat), while also being rather vague. You can't really see any clear facial features on either person on the cover, but it nevertheless gives you a look into one scene of the book. 

Crossposted on Cannonball Read. 

CBR17 Book 31:"It's a Love Story" by Annabel Monaghan

Page count: 368 pages

Rating: 3.5 stars

Thanks to Netgalley and G.B. Putnam for this ARC. My opinion is my own.

Jane Jackson spent her adolescence as the comic relief character "Janey Jakes" on a popular teen sitcom. Now she's a creative executive at a movie studio, and really trying to get a script she loves turned into a movie. Frequently crippled with anxiety and self esteem issues, Jane has learned to "fake it till you make it", but she may have faked it too far this time. Desperate to get the movie script approved by her boss, she lied and claimed that Jack Quinlan, one of the hottest pop stars around, promised to write a song for the soundtrack. 

Except Jane hasn't seen or spoken to Jack for twenty years, since they recorded a hit song for her sitcom. His agent refuses to pass on her messages to him, and her only way to possibly get a chance to talk to him is to track him down at a music festival in Long Island. To accomplish this, she will need to ally herself with the man she briefly crushed on and now loathes, artsy cinematographer Dan Finnegan. His family lives in the town in Long Island where Jack will be playing, and he offers to take Jane, since he needs to go to a family reunion there anyway. 

Jane, having assumed that Dan is from some rich and elitist family, is surprised to discover that his family are all farmers and construction workers, and he's the odd one out, an introverted artist in a family full of outgoing and gregarious labourers. While it's obvious that Dan loves his parents and brothers, he's also not entirely comfortable among them, and that everyone automatically assumes that Dan and Jane are dating further complicates matters. 

Jane is forced to realise that her second impression of Dan (after finding him very appealing at their first meeting) as pretentious and judgmental is quite incorrect, and that her first impression, that he's a charming and interesting person whom she could possibly fall for, is much closer to the truth. Unfortunately, Jane has never been lucky in love before, and doubts that there could be anything serious between her and Dan, even if they do succeed in their wild quest to track down Jack Quinlan. 

As is far too often the case with me, I'm really behind on my reviews and trying desperately to remember the plots of books I read months ago. Honesty forces me to admit that despite my having finished this book a mere month ago, I'm having real trouble remembering a lot of details of the story. I had to read both the official synopsis and glance at several reviews on Goodreads to remind myself of what actually happens.

I remember that Jane has self-esteem issues, not helped by her father abandoning her and her mother when she was younger. She became a teen TV star to help pay the bills, and her crush ended in a rather humiliating experience. She keeps following her co-stars from the sitcom on social media, and they all seem to have vastly more successful lives than her. 

Dan is a cinematographer who made a very critically acclaimed, but otherwise mostly overlooked, movie. He also takes a lot of photos, and that's how he and Jane first met. They had undeniable chemistry, but before they had a chance to get to know each other, Dan shot down a script idea in a meeting with Jane's boss, and now she resents him. 

While they're in Long Island they stay in bunk beds in Dan's old room (the whole house is full of his brothers and in-laws there for his parents' wedding anniversary) and chat a lot, and they take bike rides and go to the beach and do all sorts of adorable things, and yet it all blends together in my head, and I can't remember what episodes happened in The Love Haters (a vastly less entertaining book, which nevertheless had a heroine with anxiety and self-esteem issues, and was set by the sea, so had scenes involving bathing) and what happened in this one. There were quite a few nice, heart-warming scenes with Dan's family, I think?

I don't really feel like I can rate a book I have such a hazy memory of any higher than 3.5 stars, but I am absolutely open to reading more of Monaghan's books in the future. 

Judging a book by its cover: A lot of times, these covers have absolutely nothing to do with anything that happens in this story. But the curly-haired woman, with the blue polka-dotted bathing suit, is exactly like Jane is described in the book. So while it's yet another animated cover (le sigh), it at least fits the content of the story.

Crossposted on Cannonball Read

CBR15 Book 77: "Two Wrongs Make a Right" by Chloe Liese

Page count: 351 pages

Rating. 3.5 stars

Official book description:

Jamie Westenberg and Bea Wilmot have nothing in common except a meet-disaster and the mutual understanding that they couldn't be more wrong for each other. But when the people closest to them play Cupid and trick them into going on a date, Jamie and Bea realize they have something else in common after all—an undeniable need for revenge.   Soon their plan is in Fake date obnoxiously and convince the meddlers they’re madly in love. Then, break up spectacularly and dash everyone's hopes, putting an end to the matchmaking madness once and for all.   To convince everyone that they’ve fallen for each other, Jamie and Bea will have to nail the performance of their lives. But as their final act nears and playing lovers becomes easier than not, they begin to What if Cupid’s arrow wasn’t so off the mark? And what if two wrongs do make a right?

This is an opposites attract contemporary romance, that I've also seen marketed as enemies to lovers. The protagonists are never enemies, they just really dislike each other a lot the first time they meet, and said evening keeps going more and more disastrously wrong until they find themselves locked in a cupboard together and kind of feel like kissing each other. Both Jamie "West" Westenberg and Beatrice "Bea" Wilmot are single by choice. West suffers from anxiety and is the only pediatrician in a family of successful and highly ambitious surgeons (his family, even his Mum, are all awful). His ex-girlfriend chose a position working for his father over him, so now he's just a workaholic so he can't be set up on dates. Bea's former boyfriend turned out to be a controlling, emotionally abusive d*ck, and she doesn't really feel comfortable telling her twin sister Jules, or any of their friends the truth about how the relationship ended. Bea is also autistic and has a bunch of sensory issues. There's a whole bunch of stuff she can't eat, and a lot of clothing she just cannot bear to wear. West comes across as a buttoned-up, disapproving know-it-all to Bea, she comes across as overly clumsy (she literally spills two different things over him the first night they meet), chaotic, opinionated, and a picky eater.

West's roommate Jean Paul and Bea's twin sister Jules are dating, and in fact, get engaged on the evening West and Bea first meet. They then trick them into texting one another under their middle names for a week and agreeing to a blind date, because they are so convinced the two will be perfect together. West and Bea both come to really enjoy their flirty text conversation, only to be filled with disappointment and, in Bea's case, righteous fury once they show up for their date and discover that they've been tricked. Not entirely sure why fake dating is going to get them revenge, but all of these stories have to get the couple to come up with a preposterous plan for some reason. 

Of course, it turns out that while they are very different, they also complement each other really well. Bea doesn't care that West works a lot, because he's a doctor helping children, and that's a very noble calling. West keeps trying to find ways to take care of Bea without making her feel smothered, like filling his freezer with frozen vegetable soups he's made, because she finds it so hard to eat vegetables, and even soups are sometimes horrible to her. 

So the main romance is actually quite sweet, and the whole fake dating thing is just a way for them to stop disliking one another and actually spend some quality time together. I really didn't like the subplot with Jules and Jean Paul, however. He seems to have a complete personality transplant from the start of the book to the latter half, and his motivations for setting up West and Bea seem rather unhinged, frankly. West's entire family of condescending, rich people surgeons were also implausibly awful.

I've seen this book on a bunch of Best of 2023 lists, and it's been given rave reviews by authors I like, such as Ali Hazelwood, Helen Hoang, and Talia Hibbert. It was a perfectly ok book, but I'm not sure I see myself ever re-reading it. There are better romance retellings of Much Ado About Nothing out there, such as The Only Thing Worse Than Me is You by Lily Anderson, and Speak Easy, Speak Love by McKelle George. Both of those are YA though, so if you want sexy times in your romance, this might be the one for you, after all. 

Judging a book by its cover: I don't know why, but I really dislike the art style of this cover. I don't know why I hate the way the characters are drawn, but I do. Which is a bit strange, as they look a lot more like the protagonists are described than on a lot of these sort of cartoony covers. I can't tell you why, there's just something that rubs me the wrong way about this. 

Crossposted on Cannonball Read

CBR15 Book 58: "Folk med ångest" (Anxious People) by Fredrik Backman

Page count: 350 pages

Rating: 5 stars

#CBR15 Passport Challenge: Books from different countries (set in and written by a Swedish author, read in Swedish)

CBR15 Bingo: Europe (see description for Passport Challenge)

Official book description (translated by me):

Folk med ångest (literally translated as People with anxiety, official English title Anxious People) is an unusually messy comedy about a hostage drama during an apartment showing, where a failed bank robber locks themselves in with an overly enthusiastic realtor, two bitter IKEA-addicts, a mean multimillionaire, a sad lady, a very pregnant woman, an infuriating git, and a rabbit's head. Eventually, the robber gives up and releases all the hostages, but when the police storm the apartment it is...empty. In a series of dysfunctional witness statements afterwards we get to hear everyone's versions of what happened, whereupon a classic puzzle mystery unfolds around the questions: How did the robber escape? Why is everyone so angry? And what is really WRONG with people nowadays?

This book is incredibly funny, whimsical, and uplifting. It also made me genuinely cry more than once because it's also about depression and desperation and sometimes feeling so bad and/or helpless that you just want to jump off a bridge. It's about loss, grief and loneliness. It's a work of fiction about made-up people, but based on the acknowledgments at the back of the book, it's absolutely grounded in personal experience, so the various characters feel real, with flaws and foibles. The book is about the importance of having someone in your life, be it friends, family members, or a good neighbour. 

The official book description doesn't give too much away, except for the rather unusual premise. Like others who have already reviewed this book, I really don't want to go into too much detail about the plot, because some of the joy of reading this book is discovering its twists and turns and having the story unfold before your eyes. The plot is non-linear, with seemingly unrelated little vignettes interspersed with police interrogations, the occasional flashback, and the omniscient author giving us necessary background information about the characters when it becomes pertinent to the reader. There is a mystery element to the book, but anyone expecting a mystery novel is probably going to be disappointed. 

The only other book of Backman's I've read so far is Björnstad, which is quite different from this in length, story, and impact. Yet both books show Backman's mastery of language and his skill at creating incredibly interesting characters, even some who are really rather despicable - they nevertheless feel complex and alive. While I was reading this book, several of my colleagues commented that the Netflix adaptation is very entertaining, although neither of them had actually read the book, so couldn't speak for how faithful the show actually is. I've purposefully chosen to read the book first, but now that I've finished it, I may spend the next week binging the show as well, because it would be fun to see how this twisty story got translated to the screen. 

This is only my second Backman novel, but based on the first two, I will be slowly consuming his other books, depending on which I can get from the library first. Might have to look up some sort of list to make sure the next one doesn't make me literally ugly-cry in parts, though.

Judging a book by its cover: The cover looks somewhat surreal, and has a number of absurd components, all of which actually play a part in the story. There is indeed a man with a giant bunny head on the toilet, there are citrus fruits in decorative bowls, there's a desperate robber with a gun. When I first saw it, it also made me incredibly curious to read the book. In comparison, the English cover is rather boring, with two people standing with their backs to the reader. This cover represents the farcical elements of the story in a much better way.

Crossposted on Cannonball Read

CBR15 Book 3: "Highly Suspicious and Unfairly Cute" by Talia Hibbert

Page count: 336 pages

Rating: 4 stars

CBR15 Passport Challenge: Books from different countries (the UK)

Celine Bangura and Bradley "Brad" Graeme used to be best friends until Brad callously decided to ditch Celine and get with the popular crowd (this is Celine's interpretation of past events, anyway). Now, every time they are near each other, they trade insults or compete academically. Their mothers are still best friends, though, which means they keep hearing glowing accounts of any accomplishment the other has achieved. 

One of Celine's dreams is to become a lawyer, like her role model Katherine Breakspeare. She wants to become powerful and successful, so she can pay back her mother for the decades of hard work of raising two daughters after Celine's dad left (to start a new family with his mistress). Rubbing her success in her dad's face wouldn't exactly be a downside either. Brad's parents think he wants to be a lawyer, but secretly he wants to become a science fiction writer. When it turns out that the Breakspeare Enrichment Program, a demanding survival course involving several hikes in the woods and a strong focus on cooperation, is opened up to high schoolers, Celine becomes determined to nab a spot. The top three graduates of the BEP are given full scholarships at the university of their choice, while other graduates are almost always guaranteed internships at a number of fancy businesses. Imagine Celine's surprise when Brad turns out to go for the same program. 

To Celine, a scholarship would ensure her place at a top university; to Brad, it would allow him to afford a flat by himself (Brad struggles with anxiety and germophobia, so the idea of sharing a living space with someone who doesn't understand him is a nightmare to him). Multiple-day hikes in the woods will of course present their own challenges to both teenagers, but they are both stubborn and very determined to succeed. As they are forced to spend a lot more time together, they start to rediscover what once made them such good friends, and as is so often the case with enemies, the jump to love isn't that far. However, Celine is plagued with emotional baggage and insecurities from when her father left and while deep down, she's head over heels for Brad - she insists on them playing it casual. Can Brad convince her that he would never leave her, like her rat of a dad? And can Brad and Celine survive all the challenges of the BEP to win the exclusive scholarships?

I haven't read all that many Talia Hibbert books, but all the ones I've read are great, and Take a Hint, Dani Brown was one of my top three books of 2020, while the follow-up, Act Your Age, Eve Brown, was in my top ten of 2021. So she hasn't just achieved auto-buy status with me, she's now one of the few authors from whom I will make sure to pre-order her next release. Naturally, I was excited when I heard she was writing YA book, and the title and the cute cover did nothing to dispel my excitement.

Was the book perfect? Not really. Was it sweet and enjoyable and dealt with Brad's anxiety and mental health issues in a good way. Yup. One of my main complaints is that due to Celine's obsessive need to rub her potential success in her absentee father's face (despite being told by multiple people that this will in no way bring her joy or satisfaction) and her many issues about having been abandoned by a parent, the actual romantic relationship between Brad and Celine is side-lined for much of the book and poor Brad deserved better. Also, it meant that I got a lot less smooching (this being YA, I'm not expecting anything spicier) than I wanted. 

I suspect fans of Talia Hibbert will enjoy this, although if you have an antipathy towards YA, it may be better to stick to her contemporary romances for adults. The steaminess level of this book is certainly very mild compared to her Brown Sisters novels. I'm just happy Ms. Hibbert is in a mental health space to write and publish novels again, it's been a long wait since Eve Brown to the release of this one. 

Judging a book by its cover: Multiple shades of pink on the cover give you some idea of how sweet the contents of the book are. As cartoon covers go, I don't hate this one. 

Crossposted on Cannonball Read. 

#CBR13 Book 51: "Ubesvart anrop" (Unanswered call) by Nora Dåsnes

Page count: 283 pages

Rating: 4.5 stars

Official book description (translated by me):

Oslo, late summer 2011

Barely a month after the terror attacks on the 22nd of July, Rebekka and Fariba are starting high school. Rebekka doesn't know any of the people who died, and thinks she should be one of the ones who are ready to claim back their peace of mind. So when Fariba signs up for the Labour Party Youth Movement, Rebekka tries to get involved with drama club, with Daniel with the curly hair, with parties and school and friends. 

The only problem is that Rebekka thinks about it (the 22nd of July) all the time. 

Unanswered call is a graphic novel about being a teenager in the time after the 22nd of July. It's a story about looking for reason in the face of the unreasonable, about being an outsider, about grief and anxiety. About how hard it is to reach out to one another, and how important it is when we manage it. 

It's been ten years since one very determined and angry Norwegian man planted a car bomb in the very heart of the capital, right outside the building where the prime minister's office is located. At 3:25 pm on the 22nd of July 2011, the bomb went off and caused tremendous amounts of damages. The sound of the explosion and the shock wave resulting from it could be felt all over greater Oslo, and even in some neighbouring counties. A total of eight people are killed, nine people were critically injured and more than two hundred sustained physical injuries in some way. Pretty much every window in the buildings nearby is shattered. Police and emergency services work quickly to try to evacuate as much of the area as possible and the police start working on figuring out the culprit and motive for the attack.

As it turns out, the bomb was just a distraction, if a frightfully effective one, at that. The terrorist, 32- year-old Anders Behring Breivik (he has since changed his name) was already on his way out of Oslo when the bomb went off and by 5:20 pm, he had made his way to Utøya, a small island about an hour's drive from the capital, where the Labour Party Youth Movement held their annual summer camp. He was dressed as a police officer and told the driver of the boat that took people out to the island (it is still only accessible by boat) that he was there to help secure the island after the attack in the capital. He was finally arrested at 6:35 pm, having wandered the idyllic little island shooting, killing or injuring as many people as possible. After his rampage, 69 of the 564 people on the tiny island were dead. The youngest victim was only 14. 32 of the dead were under 18. As well as the people who died, about 32 people were critically injured and there are hundreds of people, direct victims or their loved ones, who even now live with the physical and psychological trauma that the event caused.

I was also 32 years old when it happened, and while I didn't know anyone directly involved in any of the attacks, it's one of those events that has left scars. I still get affected talking about it or reading about the event. In about a week's time, the 10th graders in my school are all going to visit Utøya, where there is now a visitor's centre, and we're in the process of teaching them more about the attacks and their aftermaths. The kids I teach were only 5 at the time it happened, so for most of them, it's not in any way as affecting or upsetting for them as it is for me and several of my colleagues. Let's just say I'm probably going ugly cry when we have to watch the Norwegian film version of what happened later this week, and I suspect I'm going to be very shaken by the visit to the island as well.

This graphic novel came out earlier this year, and the author/artist was herself about to start high school about a month after the attacks took place. The entire country was still reeling, and the feelings of collective grief and trauma were strong. The book features three different teenagers, and the ways in which they try to go about their lives, trying to process the shocking events and pretending to be unaffected, despite being everything but. Rebekka, our androgynous protagonist, suffers occasional panic attacks and spends a lot of time online doing research to try to figure out why one young man got angry enough to perpetrate something so horrific. Fariba, her best friend, gets involved with youth politics and joins the youth organisation that was so cruelly targeted on the island. She wants to ensure that the world is a better place going forward. Daniel, the slightly older student Rebekka meets as part of drama club is more of a supporting character, but he, like so many others, is having trouble just moving on. 

This proved to be an excellent book to introduce the students to, as the art is very clear and easy to follow and a lot of the story is told by wordless panels and the body language and facial expression of the characters. While most of the panels are done in a bluish grey and white, all the flashbacks that characters have to the 22nd of July, thinking about where they were during the attack, are in a vivid red and white. Even the students who really struggle with reading managed to read and comprehend the story perfectly well, and we had some really good discussions as a result. 

Myself, I read the whole book in less than an hour. I borrowed it at our school library, planning to check it out a week or two before we were going to talk about it in class, and after looking at a few pages, I was sucked in and read the whole thing in one sitting. I think my only complaint about the book is that the ending feels rushed, and a lot of the story threads wrap up a little bit too quickly and neatly for my taste. I wish the author would have added ten-twenty more pages to make the ending a bit less sudden, but otherwise, this was an excellent read and I may buy myself a copy once it's released in paperback. 

Judging a book by its cover: The cover shows the book's protagonist, Rebekka, as well as her best friend Fariba and Daniel, the boy that Rebekka fancies. The cover gives a good impression of the art style the author uses throughout the book. 

Crossposted on Cannonball Read.

#CBR13 Book 30: "Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake" by Alexis Hall

Page count: 449 pages

Rating: 4 stars

CBR13 Bingo: Libations (the whole setting of the book is a televised baking show, so there are a lot of both sweet and savoury baked treats in the story and featured on the cover)

Official book description:

Following the recipe is the key to a successful bake. Rosaline Palmer has always lived by those rules—well, except for when she dropped out of college to raise her daughter, Amelie. Now, with a paycheck as useful as greaseproof paper and a house crumbling faster than biscuits in tea, she’s teetering on the edge of financial disaster. But where there’s a whisk there’s a way . . . and Rosaline has just landed a spot on the nation’s most beloved baking show.

Winning the prize money would give her daughter the life she deserves—and Rosaline is determined to stick to the instructions. However, more than collapsing trifles stand between Rosaline and sweet, sweet victory.  Suave, well-educated, and parent-approved Alain Pope knows all the right moves to sweep her off her feet, but it’s shy electrician Harry Dobson who makes Rosaline question her long-held beliefs—about herself, her family, and her desires.

Rosaline fears falling for Harry is a guaranteed recipe for disaster. Yet as the competition—and the ovens—heat up, Rosaline starts to realize the most delicious bakes come from the heart.

I'm not the first Cannonballer to review this title, and I doubt I will be the last. Last year, I read and absolutely adored Hall's Boyfriend Material. It got me out of a reading slump and I loved both the two protagonists and all of the supporting cast around them. My rather high expectations of this book were somewhat tempered when fellow romance reviewer, Emmalita, read an ARC of the book and admitted to not being able to finish the novel. Naturally, that made me a bit wary, but the reasons she gave for not being comfortable with the contents are not things that necessarily upset me. 

Nevertheless, I went into the book with lowered expectations, and that might have been good because Rosaline Palmer is a very different book from Boyfriend Material. The first one is a straight-up romantic comedy, complete with a lot of the tropes we expect from that genre. In this book, there is absolutely romance, but the heroine does spend basically the whole first half of the book with the wrong guy, so to speak and the primary plotline in the book is more about Rosaline's journey of self-discovery and self-determination than it is about her finding lasting romance.

As a huge fan of the Great British Bake Off (or Great British Baking Show, as it is known in the US), the fake baking reality show, complete with esteemed judges, snarky hosts, foul-mouthed and ill-tempered producers and all manner of baking shenanigans was absolutely an added bonus. The fact that Hall is apparently going to write more Bake Off-inspired romances delights me to no end.  

One of Hall's strengths, I find, is how well he writes not only his protagonists but makes all the supporting characters feel real and essential as well. Rosaline's daughter could well have been an annoying plot moppet in less skilled hands (seriously, so many writers just don't know how to include realistic children, and should just refrain from including them in their books). Lauren, Rosaline's ex and now best friend was also great (as were the appearances of Lauren's current girlfriend when she occasionally popped up). The various other baking show contestants felt very real, and even Rosaline's demanding and occasionally overbearing parents felt very realistic. 

If you don't find self-centred, narcissistic, and emotionally manipulative love interests an instant turn-off (be assured that he is not Rosaline's HEA, and she gets a lovely guy when she just wakes up and stops second-guessing herself), and are OK with this romance being a lot more slow-burn than Oliver and Luc's, this is a fun book, especially for those of us who want more GBBO. 

Judging a book by its cover: Possibly in keeping with the central story of this book being Rosaline finding herself and discovering what she wants to do with her future, rather than the romance, this cover doesn't feature any male love interest, only our heroine herself, with a number of delicious baked goods and baking utensils floating in the air around her. 

Crossposted on Cannonball Read.

#CBR13 Book 24: "Broken (in the best possible way)" by Jenny Lawson

Page count: 288 pages

Audio book length: 8 hrs 18 mins

Rating: 4.5 stars

CBR13 Bingo: Rep (features honest and sometimes graphic descriptions of life with a variety of mental and chronic illnesses)

 

It's no secret that Jenny Lawson, known online and to her followers as The Bloggess, suffers from a large number of ailments, both physical and mental. She has dealt with various kinds of chronic illness throughout her life and manages to be mostly very light-hearted and humourous about it. 

I chose to get this book in audio, because Jenny Lawson narrates her own books, and hearing her voice talk about all these frequently absurd, yet also occasionally absolutely heart-breaking things makes me feel closer to her. Due to the pandemic, this book was recorded in a closet in her house that she turned into a recording booth, which led to its own challenges, mainly that her cats didn't necessarily want to give her privacy while recording. At least a few places, the mews have been left in the finished book.

In contrast to her previous two books, I found this one a bit slow to get into. She also covers some really rather serious topics, and lets her readers in on some of the 'secrets' of a long-lasting and successful marriage, when one of the partners has as many health considerations as Ms. Lawson does. She is very honest about the tolls her depression takes on herself and those close to her, and one of the most affecting parts of the book is her open letter to her insurance company, literally begging them to fund essential life-improving treatments for her. As Ms. Lawson points out, in many cases, she's privileged enough to be able to afford some of them, but the vast majority of Americans cannot, and in a lot of cases, this can literally lead to deaths. 

As I'm currently struggling with anxiety and depression as well, reading about Ms. Lawson's stuggles certainly puts things into perspective. My depression is (hopefully) a passing thing, which will get better with medication and therapy. I'm never going to have to resort to ketamine injections or transcranial magnetic stimulation to live a halfway normal life. Jenny Lawson has shared a lot of her life with readers already, not only on her blog, but in two previous memoirs, Let's Pretend This Never Happened and Furiously Happy. Both are highly recommended. However, if you read either or both of these before, and they didn't appeal to you, this book won't either. 

Judging a book by its cover: With her third book, Jenny Lawson wanted to do something different with the cover, and the very talented Omar Rayyan turned a photo where she's holding one of her many cats into this brilliant depiction of her and the monster that I think is supposed to symbolise her depression and/or chronic illness. Or possibly just the weirdness that is her life. Either way, I love it. 

Crossposted on Cannonball Read

#CBR12 Book 63: "Boyfriend Material" by Alexis Hall

Page count: 432 pages

Rating: 5 stars

#CBR12 Bingo: Reader's Choice (replaces How-To)

Official book description:

Wanted:

One (fake) boyfriend

Practically perfect in every way

Luc O'Donnell is tangentially--and reluctantly--famous. His rock star parents split when he was young, and the father he's never met spent the next twenty years cruising in and out of rehab. Now that his dad's making a comeback, Luc's back in the public eye, and one compromising photo is enough to ruin everything.

To clean up his image, Luc has to find a nice, normal relationship...and Oliver Blackwood is as nice and normal as they come. He's a barrister, an ethical vegetarian, and he's never inspired a moment of scandal in his life. In other words: perfect boyfriend material. Unfortunately, apart from being gay, single, and really, really in need of a date for a big event, Luc and Oliver have nothing in common. So they strike a deal to be publicity-friendly (fake) boyfriends until the dust has settled. Then they can go their separate ways and pretend it never happened.

But the thing about fake-dating is that it can feel a lot like real-dating. And that's when you get used to someone. Start falling for them. Don't ever want to let them go.

A lot of contemporary romances are marketed as rom-coms nowadays, but very few of them actually feel as if they fit the description. Boyfriend Material, on the other hand, is frequently laugh out loud funny (and not just if you went to university with a bunch of British poshos, so parts of this feel terribly familiar) and the plot is even structured as a traditional British rom-com, complete several quirky and supportive secondary characters (one group for each protagonist, with some overlap) and a plot with big third act complications, grand gestures to win the other back and so forth. 

While I have known of Alexis Hall as a writer since he briefly reviewed new to him classic romances in a very witty way over on Dear Author a long time ago now, I've only actually read one other of his books, and that was back in 2014. That was also a m/m romance, but it was, if I recall, considerably more angsty and Hall's writing skills have greatly improved since then. 

The vast majority of contemporary romance that gets published is set in the US, and that's not surprising. Yet this book is very British, and as someone who lived in the UK for six years, and lived in dorms with and interacted with a lot of the same people as several supporting characters in this book, it felt refreshing and very comforting that this was set in London, and people drank cups of tea when they were upset and did other things that felt very familiar to me. 

Luc and Oliver work as a couple because they are both absolutely hopeless but in very different ways. They're just sort of getting by until they meet the other, who both complicates and improves their life. I loved both of them and had absolutely no problem understanding why they each had a number of very supportive friend groups, who invested a lot in getting their fake relationship to blossom into something actually real. 

If The Right Swipe felt like it just wasn't entirely for me, at least not at the time when I read it, this book, however, seemed like it was exactly what I needed and just hadn't realised until the moment when I picked it up. I stayed up way too late into the night reading this, which in itself is unusual these days, when it takes a lot more for a book to catch and hold my attention. As I have already mentioned, it made me laugh out loud several times while reading it. That's not to say that there isn't seriousness throughout, as well. 

I would love to see this book turned into an actual movie. Netflix seems to be doing big business resurrecting the rom-com as a profitable genre. Get on this, will you?

Judging a book by its cover: I've seen this cover compared to the cover for my beloved Red, White and Royal Blue several places online, which I find amusing, because with the exception of both books featuring two cartoon dudes on the cover, they look very little alike. The former book is bright pink, while this book is actually red, white and blue - so perhaps that is the source of the confusion? I do like the various nods to London sights on the cover, not to mention the absolutely essential cup of tea. 

Crossposted on Cannonball Read

#CBR12 Book 54: "Take a Hint, Dani Brown" by Talia Hibbert

Page count: 320 pages
Rating: 5 stars

#CBR12 Bingo: Yellow

Official book description:

Danika Brown knows what she wants: professional success, academic renown, and an occasional roll in the hay to relieve all that career-driven tension. But romance? Been there, done that, burned the T-shirt. Romantic partners, whatever their gender, are a distraction at best and a drain at worst. So Dani asks the universe for the perfect friend-with-benefits—someone who knows the score and knows their way around the bedroom.

When brooding security guard Zafir Ansari rescues Dani from a workplace fire drill gone wrong, it’s an obvious sign: PhD student Dani and ex-rugby player Zaf are destined to sleep together. But before she can explain that fact, a video of the heroic rescue goes viral. Now half the internet is shipping #DrRugbae—and Zaf is begging Dani to play along. Turns out, his sports charity for kids could really use the publicity. Lying to help children? Who on earth would refuse?

Dani’s plan is simple: fake a relationship in public, seduce Zaf behind the scenes. The trouble is, grumpy Zaf’s secretly a hopeless romantic—and he’s determined to corrupt Dani’s stone-cold realism. Before long, he’s tackling her fears into the dirt. But the former sports star has issues of his own, and the walls around his heart are as thick as his... um, thighs.

Suddenly, the easy lay Dani dreamed of is more complex than her thesis. Has her wish backfired? Is her focus being tested? Or is the universe just waiting for her to take a hint?

While this is the second book in the Brown Sisters series, you don't strictly speaking need to read Get a Life, Chloe Brown in order to understand or enjoy this one. It works perfectly well on its own, but the first book is also a very sweet and enjoyable romance, which I would also highly recommend. 

It's so much harder to review books that you really love, isn't it? I can't even put into words entirely why I adored this book, maybe it was just the right book at the right time for me? Nonetheless, I will try to put down some bullet points about why I am certain this book is going in my top 10 at the end of the year, and quite possibly in my top 3.

Things I loved:

• Zaf. Zafir "Zaf" Ansari used to be a professional rugby player (not like national level or anything, but he still had a promising career ahead of him). Then his father and beloved older brother died in a car accident, and Zaf's world imploded. The press got wind of the accident and the extra attention combined with his crippling grief caused him to spiral into anxiety and depression. Now, years later, Zaf is trying to use his knowledge both of mental health issues and athletics to teach young athletes to get in touch with their softer side and combat toxic masculinity. His sports charity isn't exactly going too well though, as Zaf could be better at social media than he is, and he's also deeply reluctant to advertise his past as a professional player, worried that his tragic back story is going to be brought up again. As well as being a super guy who volunteers to work with angry youths, Zaf is a loyal friend, great son, brother-in-law and uncle (I adored the relationship he had with all of them) and he reads romance novels in his spare time! He's also tall, and strong and fit and has a gorgeous beard. How can you not love a hero like that?
• Dani. While Danika "Dani" Brown is a much harder nut to crack, being super focused on her research, her Ph.D and her goal to becoming a professor. When she's focused on work, she can forget to sleep or eat, and certainly about things like a significant other's birthday or anniversaries and such. Due to a series of bad relationships, Dani has become convinced that she is utterly unlovable and that she has neither the time for or need of softer feelings like love and affection (despite the fact that she clearly loves and is deeply loved by her two sisters, her grandmother and her best friend Socha). She wants a no-strings-attached, purely sexual relationship with someone, but nothing involving mushy things like hand-holding, cuddling, spending the night together or the like.
• The various friend and family relationships in this book, both on Zaf's and Dani's side. There's an amazing cast of supporting characters here. With the exception of Sorcha, Dani's best friend, I'd "met" all of the ones on Dani's side before, in Get a Life, Chloe Brown. Dani's older sister Chloe; Red, Chloe's boyfriend; Eve, Dani's younger sister and their rather eccentric grandmother all appear to lend support at one point or another. On Zaf's side, there is his lovely mother, his best friend Jamal, his sister-in-law Kiran and his snarky niece Fatima (who is also one of Dani's students). These characters felt completely real to me. There's a tiny secondary romance happening behind the scenes between Jamal and Kiran, which I would also happily read a whole book about.
• The relationship between Dani and Zaf, even before they agree to 'fake date' and are just flirting and trading quips every morning. The way Dani is concerned about Zaf and his feelings, even when she claims not to care about anyone else. The way Zaf is utterly fascinated by all of Dani's knowledge and academic expertise and not at all threatened by the fact that she is brilliant and driven and has very clear career plans. The scenes where they are forced to play a 'newly-weds' type game on the radio, unexpected, and discover just how much they know about each other, even though they're only pretending to be a couple, is lovely and very funny.
• The grand gesture that Dani performs in order to prove to Zaf that she actually cares about him (and the secret she reveals that she's been working on in the epilogue - such squee!)
• Slightly spoilery - NO pregnancy epilogue, because for a lot of people, having babies is NOT the goal!

I love this book so much and while Eve, the youngest sister, sort of annoyed me in the first book (she has a tendency to use the wrong word for things and get annoyed when others try to correct her - it drove me mad), I am now really excited and hopeful about her book as well. Based on the first two books in the series, Talia Hibbert has my complete trust and I'm so glad I've discovered another contemporary romance author to enjoy.

Judging a book by its cover: While I'm normally not the greatest fan of the cartoon cover trend, for some reason I'm charmed silly by the ones on Talia Hibbert's books. The little cartoon Zaf carrying Dani, with her bright pink hair, and the little pile of books in the background, it all works for me. I also really like that while the first book in the series was a pretty boring white, this is a cheerful and distinctive bright yellow.

Crossposted on Cannonball Read.

#CBR12 Book 25: "Queenie" by Candace Carty-Williams

Page count: 336 pages
Audio book length: 9 hrs 45 mins
Rating: 4 stars

Official book description:
Queenie Jenkins is a 25-year-old Jamaican British woman living in London, straddling two cultures and slotting neatly into neither. She works at a national newspaper, where she’s constantly forced to compare herself to her white middle-class peers. After a messy break up from her long-term white boyfriend, Queenie seeks comfort in all the wrong places…including several hazardous men who do a good job of occupying brain space and a bad job of affirming self-worth.

As Queenie careens from one questionable decision to another, she finds herself wondering, “What are you doing? Why are you doing it? Who do you want to be?”—all of the questions today’s woman must face in a world trying to answer them for her.

I'm not the first Cannonballer to read Queenie and thanks to the reviews of others, I knew that the only thing this book seemed to have in common with Bridget Jones' Diary is that they are both about young British women with a supportive friend group. I suspect a lot of people who picked up the book based on such a comparison would have been shocked, and quite possibly put off. Poor Queenie is a mess, personally and professionally. Her white boyfriend has broken up with her, but she keeps telling herself that they are just on a temporary break and will be getting back together again after some months apart. From Queenie's own flashbacks to the relationship, not only did her boyfriend's family contain several blatant racists, but they were never a particularly healthy couple and it's probably best in the long run for Queenie to be rid of him.

Not that she realises this, and she deals with being single by pretty much hooking up with and having unprotected sex with increasingly more awful and unsuitable guys (including one who is really violent towards her). She wants to be taken seriously at work and write about serious issues like racism, police brutality and the gentrification of previously immigrant-rich areas, but also comes in late, takes super long lunches, spends a lot of her day on social media and is generally a hot mess. Despite all this, her boss really does seem to want to keep giving her chances. Queenie also has a group of loyal and supportive friends (the chat group is called "the Corgis", which is just super cute) who keep trying to be there for her, even as she keeps spiralling further and further into bad decision territory.

One of the major issues in Queenie's relationship with her unsuitable boyfriend was that she would have nightmares and occasionally freak out when he touched her. It becomes clear the further into the book we get that Queenie's mother also made bad choices with regards to men, and a violent stepfather in Queenie's past has left her deeply traumatised. She's currently estranged from her mother but has grandparents who take her in and try to help her when she can no longer to afford her flat. Several of the nurses at the free clinic that Queenie has to keep visiting because of her impulsive and unprotected hook-ups start showing concern for her and recommend that she see a therapist. It's made very clear that in the Jamaican culture, you don't go talking to strangers about your problems, and it takes Queenie a really long time to convince herself (not to mention her concerned grandparents) that this is a necessary step in her road towards healing and self-improvement.

I finished this book in early March, before the corona pandemic really erupted in the western hemisphere and the world changed completely. Reviewing it now, as multiple cities in America have literally been burning and there are protests all over the world to protest police brutality and to express solidarity with #blacklivesmatter, I wonder what Queenie would think if she were a real character and saw what was happening? Would she feel hopeful? Would she fear that it was only a momentary distraction and soon the world would have moved on, allowing the systemic racism to continue?

For the first two thirds at least, this book is dark and miserable and there are graphic descriptions of emotional and physical abuse and some of Queenie's sexual encounters could probably be classified as rape. She keeps making terrible choices, both personally and professionally and if I'd started this book a month later, in the midst of lock-down with all the worries about corona and my anxiety constantly spiking, I'm genuinely not sure I would have been able to finish the book. It's certainly NOT a light, frothy, comedic romp about a woman just trying to find love. It's a harrowing description of an individual in crisis with a lot of undiagnosed mental issues, and we follow along until she hits rock bottom. If you can get through the difficult parts, I can assure you that the book goes to a much more hopeful and encouraging place once Queenie starts accepting that she needs professional help, and needs to start loving herself and staying away from her terrible life choices.

I'm very glad that I read the book. I really liked the narrator and being fore-warned, I knew I was going to have to get through some unpleasant stuff before Queenie began to work towards a better life for herself. I will say that times are tough and depressing right now, and if you're looking for some light escapism, this is not the book for you. It's an excellent story, but very unpleasant in places.

Judging a book by its cover: I've seen this cover with a bright, almost neon-pink background and this warm orange-red one. In both, you have the same central image, an elaborate hairdo of intricate braids piled on top of a young woman's head. We don't get to see her face, only her hair and an ear with some piercings. I love how it looks as if the title is woven into the braids, like some sort of ornamentation in itself. Queenie is very protective of her hair (and why shouldn't she be?), yet she keeps having to suffer micro-aggressions like people touching it without her permission. So it's a good choice to have the hair featured on the cover of the book.

Crossposted on Cannonball Read.

#CBR11 Book 67: "The Bookish Life of Nina Hill" by Abbi Waxman

Page count: 352 pages
Rating: 4.5 stars

From Goodreads, because it's been over a month since I finished this:

The only child of a single mother, Nina has her life just as she wants it: a job in a bookstore, a kick-butt trivia team, a world-class planner and a cat named Phil. If she sometimes suspects there might be more to life than reading, she just shrugs and picks up a new book.

When the father Nina never knew existed suddenly dies, leaving behind innumerable sisters, brothers, nieces, and nephews, Nina is horrified. They all live close by! They're all—or mostly all—excited to meet her! She'll have to Speak. To. Strangers. It's a disaster! And as if that wasn't enough, Tom, her trivia nemesis, has turned out to be cute, funny, and deeply interested in getting to know her. Doesn't he realise what a terrible idea that is?

Nina considers her options.

1. Completely change her name and appearance. (Too drastic, plus she likes her hair.)
2. Flee to a deserted island. (Hard pass, see: coffee).
3. Hide in a corner of her apartment and rock back and forth. (Already doing it.)

It's time for Nina to come out of her comfortable shell, but she isn't convinced real life could ever live up to fiction. It's going to take a brand-new family, a persistent suitor, and the combined effects of ice cream and trivia to make her turn her own fresh page.

This book is what I hoped, based on the description and many rave advance reviews, that Evvie Drake Starts Over was going to be. It was a perfectly fine book, and a decent romance, but it never really gave me the thrill that a really satisfying reading experience should. Now this book, on the other hand, I liked so many things about this book - the introverted heroine and her overwhelming love of books, obviously. Nina's trivia quiz hobby - I love a good trivia quiz and used to take part in a weekly one along with my brother and his friends (sometimes my husband would also take part). I really miss having a regular trivia quiz team.

I liked the weird and wonderful way that Nina's newly revealed family tree hung together. Her new relatives, even the rather antagonistic ones, were great supporting characters. I love that the author takes the time to give us an idea of who Nina's friends are, and that Tom, Nina's initial quiz nemesis, but whom she clearly really fancies, has his own distinct friend group and supportive family members too. A good supporting cast is a lot more important to the quality of a book than a lot of people think. It makes the world seem more real and while Nina is most certainly an introvert, it doesn't mean she doesn't have people in her life who help draw her out of her shell occasionally.

The one thing that keeps this book from being a full five star read for me is that the romance could have been more developed. The family and friend stuff is all excellent and amused me greatly, but Tom is clearly a really great guy and pretty much perfect for Nina, so I missed having more scenes of just the two of them, developing their relationship (there were a little too many complications, and not enough actual couple time). A stronger romance plot would have made this book pretty much perfect for me.

Judging a book by its cover: I've mentioned the trend of cutesy, cartoony covers for romances that the publishers seem to want to market to a wider, more mainstream audience, but this one, I don't actually mind. I like the warm, happy colours of it, and I love that the glasses double as the Os in bookish. If I hadn't already heard a lot about this book on various book review sites I follow, this cover would guarantee that I would notice the book in a store and pick it up to see what it was about.

Crossposted on Cannonball Read.

#CBR10 Book 79: "Turtles All the Way Down" by John Green

Page count: 304 pages
Audio book length: 7hrs 12 mins

Aza Holmes doesn't have a lot of friends, and her best friend Daisy, a gregarious and outgoing fan fiction writer, sometimes finds her a bit exhausting. This is not surprising, as Aza struggles with anxiety and OCD. When local billionaire Russell Davis Picket goes missing and there is a reward offered for news of his whereabouts, Daisy remembers that Aza knows his son. Daisy orchestrates a scenario so that Aza can reconnect with Davis, who she hasn't seen for a few years.

Aza and Davis met at a camp for children who'd lost parents. Aza's father died, as did Davis' mother. With his father missing, Davis and his younger brother are pretty much orphans. There's a housekeeper who cooks for them, but they are left to their own devices in a huge and lonely house, and when Daisy and Aza suddenly show up, Davis is naturally suspicious about their motives.

The book is told from Aza's perspective, and I found it rather difficult to read on occasion, as Aza's mental illness keeps spiralling out of control more and more as the book progresses. She is terrified of disease, and uses tons of hand sanitizer. She has a tiny wound on her hand that she keeps reopening, while at the same time being super paranoid about infection. She doesn't take her meds like she's supposed to, and as the story progresses, she even begins to drink the hand sanitizer.

While Daisy comes across as an impatient and somewhat oblivious friend on occasion, but I had a lot of sympathy for her. As someone who knows a lot of people with degrees of debilitating mental illness - it can be very frustrating to be the one on the other side.

When promoting this book, John Green admitted that he too struggles with anxiety, which is why it's probably described so very vividly. I listened to the audio book, where the narrator gives Aza's inner thoughts a very commanding tone, making it all the more understandable that she has trouble resisting, even when she's being told to do frankly insane and unhealthy things. It's exhausting and scary to read about, it must be absolute hell on earth to live through. I kept internally yelling at Aza whenever she failed to take her meds. One thing I have realised, knowing many people who suffer from mental illness, is just how important it is to keep taking your meds regularly, and to speak to a doctor if the meds no longer work for you.

I think The Fault in Our Stars is still my favourite John Green book and it probably doesn't help that I was a bit distracted and not necessarily in a good head space when listening to this book. It's a good and important YA book, but Aza's illness just freaked me out too much.

Judging a book by its cover: There's a lot of spiral imagery throughout the novel, so I suppose an orange spiral drawing the eye was a perfectly good design to choose for the otherwise rather plain cover. I suppose John Green doesn't really need elaborate or especially ornate covers, his name is enough to sell bucket loads, especially when he hasn't released a book in years. I still think it's one of the most boring of all of his book covers.

Crossposted on Cannonball Read.

#CBR10 Book 62: "Love and Other Alien Experiences" by Kerry Winfrey

. 

Page count: 269 pages
Rating: 4 stars

From Goodreads, as I'm once again reviewing books from over a month ago:

Mallory hasn't left the house in sixty-seven days--since the day her dad left. She attends her classes via webcam, rarely leaves her room (much to her brother's chagrin), and spends most of her time watching The X-Files or chatting with the always obnoxious BeamMeUp on New Mexico's premier alien message board.

But when she's shockingly nominated for homecoming queen, her life takes a surprising turn. She slowly begins to open up to the world outside. And maybe if she can get her popular jock neighbor Brad Kirkpatrick to be her homecoming date, her classmates will stop calling her a freak.

In this heartwarming and humorous debut, Mallory discovers first love and the true meaning of home--just by taking one small step outside her house.

Mallory has developed severe anxiety and agoraphobia after her father left without any explanation. She feels severely ill if she even goes to check the mail. As there's no way for her to get to school, she attends via web cam, and her mother has software on her computer to make sure she doesn't spend too much time on non-school related activities. While her mother and younger brother seem completely unconcerned (and actually rather relieved by her father's absence), Mallory can't get it out of her mind, and wants to find him, so she can discover why he just disappeared like that. Of course, she will need to conquer her anxiety enough to let her leave the house.

Unsurprisingly, since teenagers aren't known to be super empathetic or all that kind, she's pretty much seen as the town freak, and no one is more surprised to discover she's been nominated for homecoming queen than Mallory. While she would love to ignore the whole thing, there's a $500 cash prize for the winner, and Mallory needs that money to sign up for a bird watching trip she's sure her father will be on. So with the help of her best friend Jenni, her brother and the boy next door, Brad Kirkpatrick, she sets out to win the homecoming crown (even though she's still feels sick leaving the house).

Mallory spends most of her spare time watching The X-Files and discussing aliens on "We are Not Alone", an online message board. Recently, she seems to be hitting it off with another user, BeamMeUp, while in her real life, she keeps getting into embarrassing situations or arguments with Brad Kirkpatrick's half-brother, who's also right next door. I don't want to spoil things for anyone, but you haven't really experienced a lot of narratives if you're in any way surprised by the last minute reveal of BeamMeUp's real identity.

This was a sweet book, which as far as I can tell deals pretty realistically with severe anxiety disorder and agoraphobia and features characters that feel like realistic teenagers. The sibling relationship between Mallory and her brother (who came out as gay a year ago, and gets his first boyfriend over the course of the book) is lovely and her friendship with Jenni is also sweet, while there are some complications as the story progresses (stemming in large part from the fact that it would be super difficult if your best friend never actually showed up at school or left her house, and you were stuck defending her to everyone gossipping). The sibling relationship between Brad and his brother (while not dwelt on as much) also seems very supportive. Brad is one of those "most popular guys in school", who also turns out to be genuinely sweet guys, which is always a nice twist.

This is Kerry Winfrey's debut novel. Goodreads tells me she has a new book out this summer, and I am probably going to check that out too, because this was a quick and entertaining read.

Judging a book by its cover: I really don't have a lot to say about this cover. It's not hideous, it's not great. It gives the reader very little idea of what the book is about, but the colours are nice enough, I guess?

Crossposted on Cannonball Read.

#CBR10 Book 53: "Eliza and Her Monsters" by Francesca Zappia

Page count: 400 pages
Rating: 5 stars

I was going to start this review the way I normally do, with a few paragraphs trying to sum up the story of the book. But having written nearly two whole paragraphs, I went back and deleted them, because I don't really want to say too much about the plot of the book. I didn't know a whole lot going into the book, and I think my reading experience was better for it.

Very short summary: Eliza Mirk is a teenager soon to graduate high school. Hardly anyone knows that she is the beloved creator of wildly popular web comic Monstrous Sea, which has millions of fans. One day, a new kid transfers to her school, and she discovers he is a fan of her work. They become friends, and Eliza struggles with keeping her true identity from him.

There were a lot of thing that reminded me of Rainbow Rowell's Fangirl in this book, except Eliza isn't actually writing fan fiction, but creating her own unique and extremely popular web comic. Nevertheless, the explorations of creativity and fandom, the pressure to perform, the anxiety about not being good enough, what it's like to truly love and identify with something - be it a book series, a web comic (or it could be movies or a TV show) are themes that run through both books.

Cath and Eliza are both introverted and have difficulties making real life connections in the world around them. They both find it easier to interact with people online, something I myself can absolutely identify with. They are both incredibly creative, and feel the pressure to deliver good content to their fans. Eliza has parents who are a lot more reliable than Cath, but they don't really understand their daughter much at all. They find it much easier to relate to her boisterous younger brothers (who I found annoying at first, but who ended up making me cry happy tears because of how awesome they turned out to be towards the end of the book).

Because of the similarities with Fangirl, I was probably a lot harder on Wallace than I should have been. Because Levi is such an awesomely supportive and great guy, I wanted Wallace to be exactly the same, despite the fact that unlike Levi, who is a very laid back and comfortable in his own skin college kid, Wallace is still in high school and has some serious trauma in his past. He also has some pretty heavy parental expectations to live up to, and Eliza keeps a secret of major proportions from him. The fact that he acts like an idiot for a while, instead of just being there for Eliza is frankly much more realistic, it just took me a while to come to terms with this.

As well as writing a really lovely book, which made me feel a vast array of emotions while reading it, Francesca Zappia also illustrates the story, so you can see what Eliza's artwork looks like. In some places, you get the novelisation of her story, which becomes more significant as the story progresses. As is more often than not the case for me with fiction within fiction, I desperately wanted to be able to read the entirety of Monstrous Sea, as well as the book series that Eliza loved as a kid (although it would probably gut me that it was never completed - as it does its fans within this story).

This was such a wonderful book and I am going to have to what else the author has written, so I can get my claws into that too.

Judging a book by its cover: I like that the cover artist has kept the dark-haired girl blurred out for the most part, so the reader is free to imagine their own image of Eliza. Her hands, which she uses to create her art, are in the foreground, holding little animated versions of what I'm assuming is supposed to be Wallace and Eliza. I only question why the girl's hands are paint-stained, as Eliza clearly uses digital tools to ink her drawings. I guess paint-stained hands are a good short hand for artist.

Crossposted on Cannonball Read.